My big toe hurts
 

Help me.

Turf toe sucks (as does a sprained toe, especially the big one)

Let me suck the pain away

Ask Mahomes

Bob Marley died of toe cancer.

I feel like it needs to pop, but won't.

Gots da gout

I'll believe it when I see it.

Soak it in cider..

I bet you stubbed it on something. Do you remember a thunk and searing pain when you passed a piece of furniture recently?

That shit runs in my family, although (knock on wood) the cruel gods of aging haven't yet added it to my dance card. My maternal grandmother had it bad, as did both of my uncles.

Ironically, one of my uncles contracted neuropathy in the same toe that had had the gout. So even though it looked awful and should have been horrendously painful, he couldn't feel a thing and it didn't bother him at all. The only instance I've ever heard of where two nasty maladies combined to cancel each other out.

I mean this in the nicest way possible, hopefully it's terminal.

Doesn’t matter your age with gout my man. I’ve had it since I was 28 years old. If your kidneys can’t process purines, you’ll get the gout. It’s definitely miserable, but the medication really lets you do live like normal.