Late night bullshit: Let's be friends.
 

I just realized I've been on this board for four and a half years and I'm not really friends with any of you, luv as the only exception as she's lived in Springfield and we've actually seen a Chiefs game together.

So hi.

Some of you seem pretty nice. Others of you seem like dickheads. I like that mixture. Let's be friends.

So... how do you want to start this friendship off?

:D

**** off.

buttsecks?

I need smarter friends than you.

NEXT

HOW DARE YOU

I'm presenting myself as a CARING ****ING HUMAN BEING.

TRYING TO MAKE ANOTHER HUMAN CONNECTION

And what? You're too ****ing cool to be friends? Too bundle of sticksgy for you?

You're too edgy? Too resistance to ersatz relationships?

WELL I'VE GOT SOME NEWS FOR YOU BUCK-O

Please like me. :(

Done. Spread 'em.

You have no idea how smart I am. I'm in charge of a budget in excess of $1,000,000. I am relatively sure major hospital corporations don't let just anyone do my job.

Your loss, junior.

Do you also drive a Dodge Stratus?

I'm your friend, buddy. (wait, maybe I got that wrong.)

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Howdy

Some Scotch might convince me to be your friend

I have many leatherbound books, and my office smells of rich mohagany.

I will be your friend. If you choose to accept, press one. If not, then do nothing.

Choose wisely.

YOU ****ER

Beat me to it. God damn it.

Did luv make you breakfast?