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'Hamas' Jenkins 04-23-2010 09:44 PM

AfCasselstan
 
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<o:p> </o:p>
People like to ascribe many causes to the collapse of the Soviet Union, but one of the most overlooked is the fact that the leaders of the <st1:country-region w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">USSR</st1:place></st1:country-region> bought into their own hype. Rather than critically analyzing situations, they wrapped the reality around the propaganda. This was no more apparent than in the Soviet-Afghan War.
<o:p> </o:p>
The Politburo and Central Committee were largely torn on whether or not to “help” the ruling Afghan government of Nur Muhammad Taraki. Brezhnev, who by then was in his early seventies and suffering from chronic health problems, decided that it would be in the best interests of the country to spread the “April Revolution” and intervene in a civil war between Islamist Rebels and the Communist Government currently in power. But the Soviets largely shuffled their feet until Haifzullah Amin seized power, had Taraki executed, and further fanned the flames of discontent within the country with a series of repressive and Dranconian measures. What first began as an influx of military advisors later morphed into a full-scale invasion of the country once the Politburo realized that they had lost complete control of Amin and that he may be acting as a Rogue agent. Spetsnaz commandos stormed one of his palaces, and killed him with a hand grenade as he dove behind a bar for cover on an upper floor.
<o:p> </o:p>
Thus began the 9+ year Soviet involvement in <st1:country-region w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Afghanistan</st1:place></st1:country-region>. Rather than admit they never should have entered the country, nor intervened in its continually escalating civil war, the Soviet higher ups were so convinced that the largely tribal Pashtuns and other ethnic groups of <st1:place w:st="on"><st1:country-region w:st="on">Afghanistan</st1:country-region></st1:place> would accept Soviet-style communism simply because it was presented in front of them.
<o:p> </o:p>
The Soviet military effort was a manual on how to **** up a counter insurgency. Not only were their individual soldiers woefully equipped for the drastic weather changes in <st1:country-region w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Afghanistan</st1:place></st1:country-region>, but much of the equipment they used was outdated, defective, or utterly worthless. Corruption and abuse were rampant within the military ranks. Senior enlisted men, called deda essentially acted as licensed torturers of the newly conscripted men, and routinely beat them, made them carry their gear, or burned them with cigarettes for simple pleasure.
<o:p> </o:p>
Meanwhile, the Soviets incurred heavy losses from the increasingly well-equipped mujihadeen, many of whom used advanced guerilla warfare tactics. Unwilling to remain a stationary target for a much stronger conventional enemy, they set up ambushes, always sought out the high ground, and only attacked when it was strategically beneficial.
<o:p> </o:p>
In spite of mounting Soviet casualties (which were officially listed as 15,000 for the conflict but in reality may have been nearer 50,000), the Soviet press was unable to report on the size of movements or casualty numbers. Anything larger than brigades were not to be mentioned, as the leaders did not want the public to think the <st1:country-region w:st="on">USSR</st1:country-region> was even that deeply engaged in <st1:country-region w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Afghanistan</st1:place></st1:country-region>. Furthermore, reporters could not list any more than 3 deaths as a result of any one attack, again to provide the illusion of strength for the populace.
<o:p> </o:p>
The ultimate story of the Soviet War in <st1:country-region w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Afghanistan</st1:place></st1:country-region> is that it was one undertaken by a paper tiger who thought that the strength of its rhetoric would be able to conquer the will of a people. The mere fact that the Soviets would bring the “April Revolution” would be, in and of itself, enough of a panacea to quell any conflicts.
<o:p> </o:p>
The reality was far different.
<o:p> </o:p>
Soviet soldiers nearly starved on the ground, and were prohibited from buying fruit and food from local merchants. Many of them resorted to brewing alcohol from jet fuel filtered through the carbon filters of their gas masks as a form of self medication. On a related note, we continue to starve our defense in a draft rich with talent at the most important positions and also those of greatest need.
<o:p> </o:p>
Similarly, Pioli’s regime seems to have the approach that merely picking retreads, coaches, and complementary players will work because it was done by them. There seems to be no effort to actually critically analyze the strengths and weaknesses of these players and scout other teams’ needs relative to their own. Several examples can be given. The fact that their draft board only contains around 100 names is one.
<o:p> </o:p>
The fact that they will almost exclusively pick players from two conferences is another.
<o:p> </o:p>
<o:p> </o:p>
Lets look back at the Chiefs’ last two drafts
<o:p> </o:p>
Players selected by conference:
<o:p> </o:p>
SEC: <st1:state w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Berry</st1:place></st1:state>, Jackson, McCluster, Arenas, Succop
Big Ten: Magee, Asamoah, <st1:place w:st="on"><st1:city w:st="on">Moeaki</st1:city>, <st1:state w:st="on">Washington</st1:state></st1:place>
<o:p> </o:p>
All other conferences in all other levels of college football: Brown, Lawrence, O’Connell
<o:p> </o:p>
Additionally, if we go back to the free agency activity of 2009 and 2010, we see that with rare exception, the people brought into the fold almost universally have past experience with someone from the regime.
<o:p> </o:p>
<o:p> </o:p>
Most importantly, the inability to admit a mistake. Just like the Soviets should have left <st1:country-region w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Afghanistan</st1:place></st1:country-region> in January of 1980 and saved themselves and the Afghan people over a million lives combined, the Chiefs should at some point cut bait with Matt Cassel. There will not be a lower risk—higher reward proposition than Jimmy Clausen. His salary would have been low and his familiarity with the terminology of the offense would have been high. One could make the claim that Charlie Weis did not want Clausen, but if that is the case, why are their multiple reports that he advocated for Clausen at multiple times, and according to Chris Mortenson on the draft telecast this evening, personally gave his own stamp of approval on the Panthers drafting Clausen. Even if Clausen isn’t Joe Montana (and he’s not), if we don’t take someone who meshes so perfectly with our offense, we aren’t taking another QB. Period.
<o:p> </o:p>
Scott Pioli seems to think that drafting late round QBs is a winning proposition because it worked once for him with Tom Brady and because Matt Cassel put up good fantasy stats in 2008 when surrounded by the best skill position talent in the NFL.
<o:p> </o:p>
We have hitched ourselves to Matt Cassel. We have invested nearly countless resources (Weis, Chambers, Asamoah, McCluster, Moeaki, Jones, Lilja, Wiegmann) this offseason just for the sole purpose of helping him out, not to mention a second round draft pick and 63 million dollars.
<o:p> </o:p>
It will not work.
<o:p> </o:p>
<o:p> </o:p>
Matt Cassel is our <st1:country-region w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Afghanistan</st1:place></st1:country-region> and our stubborn inability to realize the futility of the situation will only further entrench ourselves as doormats of the NFL.

notorious 04-23-2010 09:45 PM

The topic name is EPIC.


ROFL

Rausch 04-23-2010 09:47 PM

I'm not reading all this $#it to find out Cassel has not played well...

Gonzo 04-23-2010 09:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by notorious (Post 6707331)
The topic name is EPIC.


ROFL

Yeah it is, unfortunately that's right about where I lost interest. I'm too tired to read the rest.
Posted via Mobile Device

Titty Meat 04-23-2010 09:48 PM

There might be three good players in this draft class compared to one all of last year.

CaliforniaChief 04-23-2010 09:50 PM

When I woke up this morning, I certainly didn't think that at the end of the day I would see the word mujahadeen connected to Day 2 of the draft in a Hamasifesto.

Well written, as always.

DeezNutz 04-23-2010 09:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by billay (Post 6707345)
There might be three good players in this draft class compared to one all of last year.

2 for sure. Doubling up, bitches.

DaneMcCloud 04-23-2010 09:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DeezNutz (Post 6707353)
2 for sure. Doubling up, bitches.

First they did it with wins.

Now they do it in the draft.

In just 2 short years, we'll hit on all of our draft choices and go 16-0.

Mecca 04-23-2010 09:52 PM

You forgot Tyson Jackson for the SEC players list, but what you wrote proves a solid point.

Hammock Parties 04-23-2010 09:55 PM

http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.co...6953541689.gif

Ebolapox 04-23-2010 09:55 PM

we will never win a super bowl under pioli. I hope I'm wrong, but the shit ain't happening.

OnTheWarpath15 04-23-2010 09:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by H5N1 (Post 6707374)
we will never win a super bowl under pioli. I hope I'm wrong, but the shit ain't happening.

I'm thinking we won't even win a playoff game under him.

One thing I do know is that apparently we're going to take a nickle CB and trade up for a TE every year, while avoiding our biggest needs like the plague.

notorious 04-23-2010 09:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mecca (Post 6707360)
You forgot Tyson Jackson for the SEC players list, but what you wrote proves a solid point.

He isn't listed because he really doesn't count as a draft pick.


If Hamas were to list steaming piles of waste, he would fit in nicely.

Hammock Parties 04-23-2010 09:59 PM

Also, don't forget that the enemy Afghans just recruited Rambo to fight us.

http://www.antoniogenna.net/doppiaggio/film/rambo3.jpg

http://www.bustedplay.com/wp-content...2009/01/a4.jpg

Mecca 04-23-2010 10:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by OnTheWarpath58 (Post 6707379)
I'm thinking we won't even win a playoff game under him.

One thing I do know is that apparently we're going to take a nickle CB and trade up for a TE every year, while avoiding our biggest needs like the plague.

It's fun to watch a guy do all he can to try to make Cassel look like he's good enough isn't it?

Tribal Warfare 04-23-2010 10:03 PM

<object width="560" height="340"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/dsx2vdn7gpY&hl=en_US&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/dsx2vdn7gpY&hl=en_US&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="560" height="340"></embed></object>

this scene depicts my feelings over the 2010 NFL Draft thus far

OnTheWarpath15 04-23-2010 10:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mecca (Post 6707391)
It's fun to watch a guy do all he can to try to make Cassel look like he's good enough isn't it?

If that's was his goal, he failed even more miserably than I thought he did.

If he's trying to make Cassel look good, passing on Benn, Tate, Williams, etc was a huge ****-up.

But hey, why grab a legit WR when you can grab a guy that has an upside of a WR3?

And trading up - AGAIN - for a TE was criminal. Especially when you don;t even get the best one on the board.

You know what might have made Cassel look better?

Having a competent front 7 that doesn't allow 30 PPG.

Mecca 04-23-2010 10:07 PM

Cassel's arm sucks to much to utilize a real outside WR, notice Moss.

We get the slot guy he can dump it to 3 yards upfield 100 times.

'Hamas' Jenkins 04-23-2010 10:07 PM

That is such a perfect quote for this steaming pile of ****.

Rausch 04-23-2010 10:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tribal Warfare (Post 6707405)
<object width="560" height="340"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/dsx2vdn7gpY&hl=en_US&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/dsx2vdn7gpY&hl=en_US&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="560" height="340"></embed></object>

this scene depicts my feelings over the 2010 NFL Draft thus far

ROFL

Hammock Parties 04-23-2010 10:08 PM

Let's see what the truest of the true fans make of it.

http://mbd.scout.com/mb.aspx?s=115&f=1837&t=5885444

Hammock Parties 04-23-2010 10:10 PM

Kudos to Hamas for only using "****" once, and it was in relation to the Soviets.

In fact, that was the only appearance of profanity in his post.

He's such a nice young man.

OnTheWarpath15 04-23-2010 10:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 'Hamas' Jenkins (Post 6707421)
That is such a perfect quote for this steaming pile of ****.

What's that?

'Hamas' Jenkins 04-23-2010 10:11 PM

Well fellas, I'm off to the bar with the wife to meet up with my big-titted boss. Once I unsuccessfully try and persuade them into a threesome, I'm going to shove a shot glass full of gasoline up my ass and bounce up and down on a pilot light until it breaks.

'Hamas' Jenkins 04-23-2010 10:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by OnTheWarpath58 (Post 6707438)
What's that?

Aliens.

Rausch 04-23-2010 10:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GoChiefs (Post 6707436)
Kudos to Hamas for only using "****" once, and it was in relation to the Soviets.

In fact, that was the only appearance of profanity in his post.

He's such a nice young man.

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2100/...a99a1fbb_o.jpg

milkman 04-23-2010 10:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 'Hamas' Jenkins (Post 6707441)
Well fellas, I'm off to the bar with the wife to meet up with my big-titted boss. Once I unsuccessfully try and persuade them into a threesome, I'm going to shove a shot glass full of gasoline up my ass and bounce up and down on a pilot light until it breaks.

LMAO

notorious 04-23-2010 10:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 'Hamas' Jenkins (Post 6707441)
Well fellas, I'm off to the bar with the wife to meet up with my big-titted boss. Once I unsuccessfully try and persuade them into a threesome, I'm going to shove a shot glass full of gasoline up my ass and bounce up and down on a pilot light until it breaks.


rofl


You are making me cry with laughter right now!


****.

Ming the Merciless 04-23-2010 10:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by OnTheWarpath58 (Post 6707379)
I'm thinking we won't even win a playoff game under him.

Wow you are really going out on a ****ing limb.....

(Protip: We havent won a playoff game in like 15 years)

Mecca 04-23-2010 10:16 PM

This is the executive of the decade, asking for a playoff winner in 3-4 years is not asking to much.

Hammock Parties 04-23-2010 10:18 PM

The sad thing is we'll probably go 6-10 this year and people will be chanting progress.

Rausch 04-23-2010 10:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mecca (Post 6707460)
This is the executive of the decade, asking for a SB contender in 3-4 years is not asking to much.

It does not take a decade to build a team.

It does not take a HC/GM combo 5 ****ing years to win a playoff game.

It should not, and if it does you need to question who you hired to do that.

I understand it's only year two but based on what I see so far don't expect me to jump for joy and bang a ****ing gong...

cdcox 04-23-2010 10:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mecca (Post 6707418)
Cassel's arm sucks to much to utilize a real outside WR, notice Moss.

We get the slot guy he can dump it to 3 yards upfield 100 times.

It will take NFL coordinators about 1 week to figure out this scheme. We'll see defenses jumping routes for pick sixes and killing our new midget.

Ming the Merciless 04-23-2010 10:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mecca (Post 6707460)
This is the executive of the decade, asking for a playoff winner in 3-4 years is not asking to much.

Then why don't we give him 3-4 years....I have seen multiple 'experts' on this board unwilling to give him 3 more seconds let alone 3 more years.

Please remember these words you spoke.

notorious 04-23-2010 10:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cdcox (Post 6707486)
It will take NFL coordinators about 1 week to figure out this scheme. We'll see defenses jumping routes for pick sixes and killing our new midget.

When they start jumping routes you have the WR's do a hitch and go route.



Then the QB hit's them deep.... Oh. Wait.

Hammock Parties 04-23-2010 10:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cdcox (Post 6707486)
It will take NFL coordinators about 1 week to figure out this scheme. We'll see defenses jumping routes for pick sixes and killing our new midget.

Just think, we have four more years of this to deal with before Pioli is gone.

Clark will not fire him.

RealSNR 04-23-2010 10:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by notorious (Post 6707501)
When they start jumping routes you have the WR's do a hitch and go route.



Then the QB hit's them deep.... Oh. Wait.

:doh!::cuss:

Hammock Parties 04-23-2010 10:25 PM

I really hate the Chiefs right now.

They aren't getting a dime of my money this year.

Mecca 04-23-2010 10:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cdcox (Post 6707486)
It will take NFL coordinators about 1 week to figure out this scheme. We'll see defenses jumping routes for pick sixes and killing our new midget.

See Pioli is not smart enough to realize we don't have the fear factor that is Moss, if you took Moss off NE Wes Welker would not be remotely close to what he is.

MadMax 04-23-2010 10:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mecca (Post 6707418)
Cassel's arm sucks to much to utilize a real outside WR, notice Moss.

We get the slot guy he can dump it to 3 yards upfield 100 times.



Exciting football to be sure... This shit fascinates me in a weird way. The dump pass is soooo beautiful to watch.

notorious 04-23-2010 10:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MadMax (Post 6707524)
Exciting football to be sure... This shit fascinates me in a weird way. The dump pass is soooo beautiful to watch.

You had to jerk your dick til it was raw during the Marty years.


That **** loves swing passes.

Mecca 04-23-2010 10:30 PM

Our offense won't be complete till we get a Kimble Anders clone.

Rausch 04-23-2010 10:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pawnmower (Post 6707491)
Then why don't we give him 3-4 years....I have seen multiple 'experts' on this board unwilling to give him 3 more seconds let alone 3 more years.

Please remember these words you spoke.

I have more faith in Pioli than Haley...

DeezNutz 04-23-2010 10:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rausch (Post 6707535)
I have more faith in Pioli than Haley...

Who hired whom?

notorious 04-23-2010 10:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mecca (Post 6707533)
Our offense won't be complete till we get a Kimble Anders clone.

Can we jam a pin in Cassel's thumb like Deberg? It might help, and it certainly wouldn't hurt.

Rausch 04-23-2010 10:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mecca (Post 6707533)
Our offense won't be complete till we get a Kimble Anders clone.

Can Barry Richardson run the old Joe-Valerio-tackle-eligible play?

How good are his hands?

Mecca? Gochiefs?

Somebody get on this!

Rausch 04-23-2010 10:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by notorious (Post 6707547)
Can we jam a pin in Cassel's thumb like Deberg? It might help, and it certainly wouldn't hurt.

LMAO

notorious 04-23-2010 10:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rausch (Post 6707564)
LMAO

It would definately help with his play-action passes. DeBerg was a God when it came to play-action. LMAO

Basileus777 04-23-2010 10:39 PM

I'd take you more seriously if you didn't use the melodramatic analogy.

Ebolapox 04-23-2010 10:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Basileus777 (Post 6707580)
I'd take you more seriously if you didn't use the melodramatic analogy.

**** it: if you've got it, flaunt it.

L.A. Chieffan 04-23-2010 10:42 PM

If the Chiefs are the Soviets in Afghanistan, then this is ERIC MOTHAFUKIN BERRY:

http://mrt.tomzuki.com/Team%203%20Ga...helicopter.jpg

notorious 04-23-2010 10:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by L.A.Chieffan (Post 6707592)
If the Chiefs are the Soviets in Afghanistan, then this is ERIC MOTHAFUKIN BERRY:

The Soviets won some battles, but they lost the war. :(


****

DaneMcCloud 04-23-2010 10:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rausch (Post 6707482)
It does not take a decade to build a team.

It does not take a HC/GM combo 5 ****ing years to win a playoff game.

It should not, and if it does you need to question who you hired to do that.

I understand it's only year two but based on what I see so far don't expect me to jump for joy and bang a ****ing gong...

It does when the roster you inherit is nearly completely devoid of talent and you whiff on nearly everyone in your first year.

I guess I'm in the minority but I like what the Chiefs have done so far.

ChiefsCountry 04-24-2010 12:28 AM

Matt Cassel is the worst ****ing trade in Chiefs history. It has ****ed us in the ass for two drafts in row.

Hammock Parties 04-24-2010 11:17 PM

Inspired by Hamas.

http://i43.tinypic.com/nyb41u.jpg

Iowanian 04-25-2010 11:21 AM

You could have saved a lot of typing by just typing what you've been doing for 2 days...

"Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!"

Deberg_1990 04-25-2010 11:33 AM

Can we move this to D.C. please??

RealSNR 01-08-2012 09:00 PM

Bump.

It had to be done.

2112 01-08-2012 09:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SNR (Post 8277749)
Bump.

It had to be done.

What is your opinion of young Hamas's thesis, Professor?

RealSNR 01-08-2012 09:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by D2112 (Post 8277754)
What is your opinion of young Hamas's thesis, Professor?

It's brilliant. Matt Cassel has been interpreted through many lenses already-- artistically, hermeneutically, statistically, visually, aurally, and I've even posted a thought-provoking essay on Matt Cassel as Wesley Crusher from Star Trek: The Next Generation. But I've never seen Cassel's badness and AIDS interpreted geopolitically.

This is the world we live in. We live and breathe history every day. We should be more privy as a society to reading into everyday aspects of our lives through our global perspectives. The game of football is rife with these analogies and interpretations. Why not, as fans, focus our frustrations with the worst QB in the NFL through these global points of departure? Why not draw those connections? They certainly fit.

Hamas took the first step with this thread. He has done us all a great favor by doing so.

DaneMcCloud 10-02-2012 10:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pawnmower (Post 6707491)
Then why don't we give him 3-4 years....I have seen multiple 'experts' on this board unwilling to give him 3 more seconds let alone 3 more years.

Please remember these words you spoke.

:D

Hammock Parties 02-27-2013 06:22 PM

Alexghanistan.

Direckshun 02-27-2013 08:08 PM

Smithya.

Thig Lyfe 02-27-2013 08:44 PM

The Gaza Smith

Nightfyre 02-27-2013 09:12 PM

I am going with Afghalexstan personally.


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