For you Office Dwellers
 

The end of the year is near and I need to invest in the office. Besides the usual answer of hookers and cocaine, what should I blow the end of my year budget on? It's use it or lose it folks, plus my bosses want their taxes to go down. Suggestions welcome. What has made your office, cubicle, break room, etc, more enjoyable?

**If repost, please place your mouth on my balls.**

Coffee machines. The more, the merrier.

hookers and blow

Air hockey table

red boston staplers

Can you do any charity stuff with those funds?

I have a regulation sized basketball court in my office.

Pilot G2 Fine Point, Black Gel Ink Pens, Box of 12

Office jobs are for pussies.

Posters of Taylor swift.

Used panties from Haitian prostitutes. Frame 'em, and put 'em like art.

The ones I've met don't wear panties.

A good hot beverage station. Not just a Keurig, but something that'll do everything from a capuccino to hot tea or whatever.

Aids dispenser :shrug:

A glory hole

A sous vide cooker.

Two chicks at one time.

Point taken.

With one cup.

A guillotine

Winner

So you don't have to look at your boss when you're sucking his dick?

A nice water filtration system for the breakroom (with a water heater/cooler plumbed in) was an investment that has payed for itself over and over again, and I find we all drink more water which is a good thing:

http://www.h2odistributors.com/h2o-ucf-03.asp

http://www.h2odistributors.com/bottl...er-coolers.asp

Oh, and the coffee is really much better too!

DT

Herman Miller chairs and big monitors

ROFL

ROFL Holy shit.

Copier paper is never a bad choice. It ain't going to get cheaper.

iPads for the staff are a safe "feel good" investment in staff morale.

Pre-paid training credits are good, too. (depending on your industry.)

Hummers!

Good suggestion.

For those that don't drink coffee, Soda Stream.:shrug:

#1 Plantronics wireless headsets and some spares!

#2 Wireless keyboards and mice combos

#3 Lamps with real bulbs (no more Al Gore bulbs!!)

seconded on wireless headsets, dual monitors, and water filtration system in the break room.

pilot G2's are great, but the fine point ones make everyone's hand writing look like chicken scratches.

get a movie theater popcorn machine.

I prefer the Pilot Precise V7 RT, writes smooth as glass and looks more expensive than it is.

Are those the ones that they ship with the tiny clear plastic guard over the tip? I think those are pretty good too.

A pool table would be nice. Or maybe one of those putting machines that shoots the ball back to you.

Thats the one.

Damn, I am a nerd.

LMAO nah, you're just a well equipped professional.

We're having the same tax problem. We don't want to waste money, but if we don't spend it we're going to get killed on taxes. (If you're a conservative business owner and hold money for a rainy day, you get killed on taxes. Thanks, government.)

We can't find anything that seems promising, though. We bought a few laptops and some other small stuff, but we don't need anything big - or at least, not that we can research in time to make the purchase. We pondered pre-registering for conferences next year to move those expenses up, but with the fiscal cliff we may be better off getting killed on taxes now rather than take an even worse beating if taxes go up significantly next year. (We're better off taking those expenses then.)

I really wish small businesses could defer taxes on cash on hand. I realize that it's reasonable to pay taxes on it, but the owners end up paying taxes on income they don't receive, which is really a hardship.

Forks spoons water cups napkins plates

Fur Coat from Burlington Coat Factory

This. This.
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Chairs. Nice ones. That will help morale as much as anything material can.

Bigger monitors

A copier that doesn't blow ass.

Foosball table

Buy some shittastic surface tablets and some video cameras. Then drop a gir on a choreographer and reenact the surface tablet commercial dances.

gold watches and gold chains for everyone.