A household mystery.
 

As some of you may know, my wife was out of town most of this week. This created all sorts of unusual situations for me, such as picking out my own clothes, driving myself to work, and cooking my own Jiffy muffins.

I made a very odd and disturbing discovery when I was cooking my first batch of Jiffy muffins. I whipped up the mix, turned the oven on, and started to put the muffins in, when I saw something at the bottom of the stove.

In my initial investigation, I learned two things:

1. The heating element of an oven gets really, really hot very, very quickly.

2. The item in the bottom of the stove was a small bell, kind of like what you see on beanie babies or cat collars or something.


Now, before you jump to conclusions, both of our cats are fine and healthy, so I don't think my wife has been doing the old Chinese restaurant switcheroo. We also don't have any beanie babies, so unless she hunted and cooked one, I don't think she was making beanie baby casserole.

Where the heck did that little bell come from?

You should have stopped right there!

Geez, Kevin- you're supposed to turn the oven on first, before you do anything else.

I think you should hire some help next time your wife leaves town. Particularly one who knows how to use a feather duster.

Any frilly decorated potholders?

My guess would be there was a holiday decorative potholder or washrag that had a bell sewn on, somebody used it to pull something out of the oven, and in the course of so doing lost one of the bells off it.

Man, you really did have a tough time while she was gone. I'm surprised you remembered to breathe.

Preheating is for sissies.

Its the bike thieves calling card, its just very subtle.

Not when you're baking in high altitudes. You need a lot of heat. For example, when I bake my pizza at home- I jack the thing up 500 degrees and preheat that oven for a half hour at the very least- the best baking results for a pizza crust is sincerely the highest baking temperature you can score.

The same holds true for just about anything you bake at home, particularly in Colorado. And if you want those muffins to come out fluffy and moist- I suggest preheating that oven for a long time.

Or like I said, hire some cute gal who's good with a feather duster. Not that it has anything to do with baking, but I'm sure she'll get more than just your temperature going.


:D

3 BLIND MICE..........

I'm starting to think that you know more about this bell than you're letting on...

It's probably a part from the timer that somehow fell out. Without the bell, I'm not sure how you will know when the fwies are done.




:D

That IS a joke..................... right........?

Don't most stoves either have a buzzer, or, on newer models, a solid state beeper. Can't say I've ever seen a full sized stove with a bell.

That was just an elaborate setup to get to the fwies punchline. It was a stretch, I know. It's Friday. Don't expect too much.


:)

what's a fwie?

Surely you've been around long enough to remember the reerun on fry station at Burger King - Ding! Fwies are done!!