My sincerest thanks; this has been a big day for me
 

Or rather, it's been a big year for me. This has really been a turning point in my life, and I have trouble imagining how things would have gone without all of you. Your support enabled me to fight through the hard times and reach for the stars, and now, after all of this intense effort, I've reached those stars.

Though I've never wanted to admit it, even to myself, deep within me I've always known I was superior to everyone else. As a result, the accolades that are beginning to be bestowed upon me are really no surprise, but they are gratifying nonetheless. So, it is with great pleasure that I announce to you all that I've been named TIME magazine's Person of the Year. Again, you owe yourselves a nice pat on the back before offering up your hearty round of applause, because you played an integral role.

You were my training staff. You were my housekeepers. You were my rocks, upon which I was able to tread efficiently and smoothly.

Thank you.

Huh?

signed Ryan Sims

Times "Person of the Year" issue cover is a mirror. So everybody in America is POY.

Yes, IF YOU ARE A PRE-SCHOOLER

I take it the nub is now meat curtains?

Okle-E-Doke.

You're very welcome for the help.

Most of us had given up on you but I must say that because of a few tenacious individuals they did succeed in forming a diamond out of a pile of dung whence you came.

Psi...

There's no tactful way to give you this information.

Hmmm.... Actually, you know what? I changed my mind. This one stays on the ranch.

Gee Taco, is that your kid in your sig. He's a cute little homo.

Oh boy. Stand back. The elastic waistband on this sucker's about to blow.

Wait, you just mean homosapien, right?

Last i looked i thought i won the damn thing.

ROFL