Saw something the other night...
 

I hadn't seen for a while. Some chick with those neon lights under the car. I hadn't seen those since around 91.

There are some cars around Columbus like that. But not too many. It seems as if they would be on the cars that almost appear to be gang-bangers or the rich kids in the suburbs. It truly is an odd combination.

What? These neon lights are out of date? Why didn't someone tell me!!!?

*goes to remove them from the underside of his cape*

I love those undercarriage lights!

I love it when they're done poorly and you can see the bulbs. That rules. It's almost as good as when they get bulbs that are too short.

Fast and Furious was the reeruned movie that promoted the Japanification cars.

I like the F and F movies. I am not crazy about Tuner cars, but that shit has been around for quite some time...

I saw a midget driving a mini-motorcycle about a week ago. It was pretty much the most glorious thing I've ever witnessed in my life and will be telling my future children about it.

I'm surprised the little bastard didn't try to run you down, Mr. Vanilla Thunder. You're lucky to be alive.

They say that there's an entire, ancient, underground civilization of midgets that live in a vast network of complex, interlocking caverns and tunnels in the earth. Some scientists believe that they come out to pester us from time to time by stealing our coal, mutilating our cattle, and unplugging our hair dryers. They think they're funny, but I don't.

FAX

Certainly not as funny as Dodo Delwyn, Mr. FAX. Certainly not.

Are you speaking of the famous Dodo Delwyn who was inducted into the Clown Hall of Fame in 1989? Or, another Dodo Delwyn, Mr. el borracho?

Some say that the Aurora Borealis is, in fact, luminescent gas escaping from the underground midget world where groups of these little, subterranean bastards gather together to light their midget flatulence and allow it to enter our atmosphere.

FAX

We were putting bulbs in the wheel wells and around the rear end housing back in 1967. Of course, the cool thing was to jack the car real high in the air and paint stuff white underneath, so the lights would show up.