Weird Night
 

So I had to work pretty late, which is rough because my wife is due any minute, now...so everything in our life seems very up in the air. So I'm ina weird stae of mind, as it is...

I'm driving home, and my wife calls me in a panic. Obviously I'm thinking it's time to go to the hospital, but no. Apparently the Independence SWAT team went sprinting through our yard, as the armored vehicle drove up to our neighbor's door and a couple of shots were fired. My wife was a wreck, scared to death. So I told her to get to the basement away from any windows, while I talked to her on the phone till I got home. I pulled in the driveway, and investigators are all over the place, the armored vehicle has re-parked itself in the street, and all the SWAT guys are sitting in another vehicle. I ask them what happened (not expecting a straight answer) and whether it was safe or if I needed to get my wife and go, and they said it was safe, and all they could tell me was that they were "Serving a Warrant." A couple of hours later... and they are still scouring the place.

I finally come in from that excitement and sit down... and I start coughing. I get a pretty bad cough a couple of times a year, for seemingly no reason. Anyhow, I start coughing so hard that I passed out. I was sitting in my chair, and I remember going into a coughing fit, and then all I know is that there was a ton of weird sound in my head... and finally my wife yelling at me. I guess she heard me cough, then something didn't sound right, and came in to find me sitting with my eyes open, and my arms and legs shaking, and me not breathing, and my face beet red. My head feels weird as hell, now, but I guess I'm fine.

She yelled at me that the baby was going to come when she was ready, and the world had to stop trying to scare her into labor...ROFL

Go to the doctor. That's not normal.

Ha crazy night. My uncle laughs so hard sometimes he will pass out. Never heard of it from coughing though. :shrug:

Is your wife not Jilly?

I haven't been to the doctor in years. I finally got insurance last year, but never went and got an actual doctor. To be honest, I'm not even sure how you "start" going to a doctor.
I know that sounds weird, I just haven't been in about 10 years, other than the clinics at CVS, an urgent care place here in town a couple of years back when I had pneumonia, and the ER once at Mizzou.

She is.

Well, congratulations to you both. I hope you don't have a coughing fit in the delivery room.

I'm mostly the same way. Just pick one that your insurance will pay for and schedule an appointment. When you gotta go, you gotta go. We're not spring chickens anymore.

Thanks. Me too.

Perhaps her OB will show you the placenta, as my wife's did. Hilarious man.

I want none of that.
I'll be up by Jilly's head, waiting for them to bring the cleaned off baby to us. I don't want to see anything, I don't want to cut anything. That's why those doctors get paid!!! ROFL
I certainly want to do my best not to pull a Tiny Evel.

I almost wonder if you coughed so hard you performed the Valsalva maneuver on yourself.

This is your first? If so, prepare for the smell. I wasn't.

Hadn't even thought about that scenario. Thanks for the one more thing to worry about. Damn.

Is she going to have an epidural if she needs it?