I'm going to club a guy over the head with a jug of antifreeze.
 

Given the low interest rates in these days of financial turmoil, I decided it was a good time to refinance my house. So we did. Easy.

As part of the process, we had to get an appraisal of the house, and the lender had it done. It came back and we were like, "What the -?".

I know that home prices are low right now, but this was ridiculous. So we started looking at the details. It turns out that the guy used a square footage that was 700 square feet smaller than our house, and somewhere along the line he also lopped off a bedroom and a bathroom.

Our house is three stories, and it was obvious that he had excluded the third floor from the square footage. I don't know what happened with the bedrooms since that hasn't changed for 100 years. We added a third bathroom twelve years ago.

So I sent the guy an exceedingly polite e-mail and said, "Hey, I think there's an error. You can go to the county assessor's web site and confirm the correct statistics on the house. Would you fix it, please?"

That was two weeks ago, and I got a call today from some low-level dweeb who said, "You're not right. We used public records to get our stats." I argued with said dweeb for a few minutes and finally said, "Give me your boss."

The appraiser got on the line and I asked what public records he used. He said he'd used MLS listings. He was quite defensive, and I said, "Dude. Seriously. Go to the assessor's web site. Look at the numbers. Your square footage isn't even right."

He said, "The lender is my client, so go through them if you want me to redo it. But I'll need to do a much more thorough interior appraisal."

Aha. So you undervalue my home and now you want me to go demand a bigger contract for you to fix it. I understand your game.

I said, "I can go to your client and embarrass the hell out of you, or you can fix it now. What do you want to do?" He said to go to his client.

I don't think his client is going to get the letter that he's hoping for. I'm turning that SOB in, and he's going to come out of it wishing that he had died in a fire.

Are assessors licensed? Maybe I'll write a letter to the state, too.

What has happened to this world? Does this guy think he's not going to get toasted over this? It's open and shut. It's not even like there's room for argument.

I totally read this as "I'm going to a gay club to get head".

And I'm not even drinking.

WTF.

How did this guy assess the Pioli situation? You asked him, right?

I already tried that, it doesn't work.

This isn't someone from the same company that asked you for a favor back a few months ago, is it?

You should have waited until June

Appraisers have to be certified. Its a process that requires quite a few hours of understudy as well as classwork(at least in Iowania).

It sounds to me like the guy is an irresponsible jerkoff or a complete incompetent.
It sounds to me like you've given him ample opportunity to correct the problem and he called down the thunder.

Pool the planet power and flog him mercilessly.

Heck, my company depends on doing quality work. Just today I gave a client a free hour because I didn't feel we accomplished enough. he'll remember that next time he has me come back.

It wouldn't be too difficult to find out if there is a professional bureau in your state. I'd wager you could file a complaint, just like you can with an incompetent land surveyor or engineer.

A psychologist could probably explain that, but you might not want him to.

He thought Herm should be retained and promoted to GM/Coach.

Think not. We just developed an alliance with a competitor to that firm, though, so they're in our sights as they meander through the woods eating grass.

Why? Is he a free agent then or something?

Generally speaking most people are dumb and/or grossly incompetent. Crucify his dumb ass the best you can.

This.

And, Assessors are elected Appraisers, so if there's a "one hand washes the other"-thing going on, well...you know.

I may do that, just because he was so unreasonable.

I just don't get it. If someone came to me on a study and said, "Hey, obvious error there. Why don't you fix it so I don't have to tell your client?", I'd fix it. This guy basically dared me to go to his client and point out his ineptitude, and I think he's expecting to get hired again. I will make darn sure he doesn't get hired again on my house, and hopefully not on others as well.

FYP.

Far more of those clowns than us.