If slavery was legal...
 

Hypothetical situation here, and I'll start by apologizing in advance to every African American person on the board if you want me to.


Background:

NOTE: THIS IS NOT A RACE THING. DON'T TALK ABOUT RACE.

In order to help pay for a new stimulus package that provides big-screen TVs, unlimited 7-11 Big Gulps, and liposuction for every American, Obama's wacky science advisor re-establishes slavery in the United States. Every American draws a random number and 30 percent (those drawing a number ending in a 2, 4 or 7 if you're interested) will become slaves. So the slave population will contain people of all education levels, ages, genders, and yes, all races. Those slaves are then placed for sale by the government in a controlled auction environment.

NOTE: THIS IS NOT A RACE THING. DON'T TALK ABOUT RACE. SERIOUSLY.

You and all of your friends and relatives and friendly coworkers draw safe numbers, so you don't have to worry about anyone you know.

NOTE: THIS IS NOT A RACE THING. DON'T TALK ABOUT RACE. SERIOUSLY. DON'T EVEN GO THERE.

All laws are rewritten so that owning slaves is legal, generally along the lines of the year 1850. There is no social stigma to being a slaveowner, as it is condoned by nearly all daytime TV talk shows as well as Comedy Central, FOX News, and National Public Radio (though NPR suggests donating them to NPR in your will). The Constitution is amended to allow it, so it's not going anywhere in your lifetime.

NOTE: THIS IS NOT A RACE THING. DON'T TALK ABOUT RACE. SERIOUSLY. DON'T EVEN GO THERE. I MEAN IT.

Based on about five minutes of research, it appears that the price for a slave in 1850, if inflated to today's dollars, would range from about $15,000 for someone with flaws (advanced age, health, etc.), to about $50,000 for an average slave, to about $95,000 for a top-notch, good-looking, prime-of-life slave.

NOTE: THIS IS NOT A RACE THING. DON'T TALK ABOUT RACE. SERIOUSLY. DON'T EVEN GO THERE. I MEAN IT. I'M NOT KIDDING.

Recall that you would be responsible for all of this person's expenses and upkeep, including housing, health care, food, etc. However, in return you get...well...the person. Free labor for the remainder of the person's natural life, and no saying no to anything.

NOTE: THIS IS NOT A RACE THING. DON'T TALK ABOUT RACE. SERIOUSLY. DON'T EVEN GO THERE. I MEAN IT. I'M NOT KIDDING. NO RACE TALK.

Much like a car, an interested buyer can shop around and buy a person who seems like the best value according to their own criteria.

Be honest. Would you buy one?

NOTE: THIS IS NOT A RACE THING. DON'T TALK ABOUT RACE. SERIOUSLY. DON'T EVEN GO THERE. I MEAN IT. I'M NOT KIDDING. NO RACE TALK. NONE.

And I'll finish by apologizing to any African Americans on the board if you want me to.

You racist bastard.

I believe that the correct thread title should be: "If slavery were legal..."

I hope that isn't too White.

Fuggn cracka!!!!!
Posted via Mobile Device

Is this a race thing..........

YOU RACIST BASTARD!!!!

OK, just kidding there, I would probably own one if I could afford it, but in all honesty, would require myself to treat them fairly, and could not afford the upkeep on it, nor the initially asking price. To become a slave on the otherhand...in the economic situation I was in in the united states...I might volunteer, relatively young age and healthy body, hope I get a good family.

:popcorn:

Shitsprayer would be very happy.
Posted via Mobile Device

Oh boy, this ought to be a dandy.

:popcorn:

What kind of rebates would there be?

Cash for clunkers? Special financing options? $95K, is that the sticker price?

Trade ins? Leases?

Too many questions remain...

Obama might be silly but he's no fuggn idiot!!!
Posted via Mobile Device

This is my slave right here. Worth every penny.

http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1104/...2d0952.jpg?v=0

I voted no because it is just wrong. However, if the oppurtunity came up to purchase a stickman as my own personal slave then I'd have to reconsider.

thigga what?

if i ended up one of the slaves, i would steal a lot.