Worst Movies Evar
 

The Megan Fox thread got me to thinking...what are your personal "worst" movies you've ever seen?

Here's my top five right off the top of my head:

1. Crank
- And Statham was so good in Snatch. WTF happened to that guy? This movie is a trainwreck of epic proportions. I'm getting physically sick just thinking about this pail of warm spit.

2. Nothing But Trouble
- No words to discribe how bad this piece of shit is as Dan Ackroyd builds up his acting resume with this triumphant followup to his Oscar worthy performance in Caddyshack 2. Everyone associated with this movie should be killed.

3. Clerks 2
- Why does Kevin Smith even make movies? He's like a really bad Quentin Tarrantino, and that's saying a lot (or very little). Blew his wad on the original Clerks and has treated us with calamities such as this ever since.

4. Any Given Sunday
- See #3 for description on Oliver Stone. The fact that he is actually putting out Wallstreet 2: Money Never Sleeps, put out Alexander and this steaming pile of monkey shit. I mean, when was the last time anyone played NFL football in the dark? Probably the last time Al Pacino didn't mail it in on a movie. HOOOHAAA! Al. Hoohaa indeed.

5. Righteous Kill
- Pacino. DeNiro. It's got to be great, right? OMG. They didn't even put a stamp on the letter to mail it in for this lump of festering goat bile. And next time, remember to get a stand in double for anytime you are being filmed trying to throw a ball or run Bobby. I mean, shit. Who would of thought that DeNiro throws like a girl. An old, wrinkled up sissy armed girl who runs like a hobbled 89 year old lady in six inch stilettos.

I'd like to say "Mega Shark vs Giant Octopus", but I can't... I laughed my ass off!

Short Cuts

I imagine there is probably a place for a thread such as this one. Couldn't imagine where though.

Oooh!

Is that the piece of shit with the helicopters spraying pesticides? The one with a drunk Lily Tomlin and Huey Lewis taking a piss in a river?

That's the one.

**** me with a broom handle; that was god-awful. And even worse, my quasi-artsy room mate trying to explain to me how great it was.

Just horrible.

fail

2 of those movies were somewhat enjoyable at least. You want to talk about the worst movies ever you have to put The Happening, Showgirls, Wild Wild West, Gigli, Batman & Robin, Judge Dread, the latest Godzilla, Pearl Harbor, Paulie Shore movies....I could go all day

CRANK WAS ****ING AWESOME...

Anyway, as far as the question:

The Spirit
House of the Dead
Dreamgirls
Ghost Rider

Good call on The Happening. I liked his first three and absolutely hated The Village. I "nothing"ed Lady in the Water, but going into The Happening my expectations could not have been lower. I was still shocked at how bad it was. It's like he's trying to suck.

1. Christmas With the Kranks - (ex g/f awesome idea of seeing this flick) This stars Tim coke head Allen and hermie Jamie Lynn Curtis. every Xmas season some shitty Christmas comedy flick comes out and this was that season's flick, but out of every movie thats ever been made, this one takes the cake for being the biggest POS ever. I walked out and threaten to leave me g/f there if she didn't come with me. We rented a movie and chilled back at my place. Me and my ex used to always argue why we didn't get to see any movies that she wanted to see. Well this is full proof of the bullshit she likes to pick out.

2. Redline - Watched about 30 min of this when I came home one night and my roomate was watching this. At first I thought it was one of the Fast n Furious movies, but no...that wasn't shitty enough. I was never big into any of those street racing movies to begin with, but to make a shitty spin-off like movie about racing from another shitty racing movie.....I mean come on, a bitch being the best driver? We all know women can't drive cars for ****ing crap on a stick.

3. Batman and Robin - Whoever made this movie needs to be shot. Bat suits with huge nipples, reeruned one liners from Robin, horrible bat gadgets, ****ing Mr Freeze's ice hockey foot clan? The movie was filled with so many colors I thought I was tripping shrooms through out the movie only I wasn't. I was just witnessing a bunch of horse shit spread out across a string of movie film.

4. Jennifers Body - I just got done watching this movie. I'm speechless but confused by whether its because Megan Fox is so hot, or that was the worst hr 1/2 of shit I've seen in a while. I hope to god Megan Fox is never given a primary role ever again. She can't act for shit. She just needs to be on camera and look good and speak at a bare minimum. They gave her a bigger role in the 2nd Transformers movie, which is why I thought that movie was far worse than the 1st. I would give anything to **** her though. Did I mention she was hot?

5. Gattica - Man this movie just wasn't for me. I gonna get bashed for this because a lot people I know disagreed with me about this movie. I was just not interested in it at all. It started out really slow and continued to be really slow. And just never got my attention. I think Ethan Hawke's a homo anyways. I dont know how I got persuaded to see this movie.

Easy one

Amityville 4 (well, I think its 4) ...the premis is that the energy of the amityville house went into a friggin lamp, yeah you heard me right, a friggin lamp!

Two people die in the whole movie. First one dies when the lamp unpluggs itself and the cord strangles him, the cord is flailing around the room and at one point you can see the fishing line holding it up clear as day. The other death happens when a guy is crawling through a vent shaft and then it flashes to an ooze/slime closing in out of absolutly nowhere, with no explaination of why really, and the camera cuts and it goes to a wide shot of the house with him screaming like a bitch.

One of those movies you have to watch twice just to appreciate how truly bad every aspect of the movie is and to make every other movie that much more appreciated.

I think it's one of the best movies of the 90's.

Joe's apartment....paid $1 to see it and I thought I got ripped off. Talking cockroaches....enough said...

Maybe some of you just spend too much time watching shit movies...Out of all the movies mentioned so far in this thread, I've seen exactly one...Gattaca - and that was a great movie, but unfortunately for some you needed an I.Q. over 65 or so to enjoy it...