Best Facebook Status Updates
 

Some of you have verbalized your hatred for Facebook. I like it, and especially enjoy some creative status updates. I'm wondering what the best status updates you've seen/used are.

Here's the one I'm running right now:

"As of today, Facebook staff will be allowed to eat your children and pets. To turn this option off, go to Settings, then Privacy, then Meals. Click the top button to not feed the employees of Facebook anything. Copy this to your status to warn your friends!"

"WHY DOES IT HAVE TO BE MONDAY?" and "THANK GOD ITS FRIDAY!"

Here's one I saw last night...

If you don't know, as of today, Facebook wil automatically start plunging the Earth into the Sun. To change this option, go to Settings --> Planetary Settings --> Trajectory then UN-CLICK the box that says 'Apocalypse.' Facebook kept this one quiet. Copy and paste onto your status for all to see.

[It seemed like every other person made a status update about the snow in springfield two weeks ago]

My status: Springfield, Imma let you finish, but the Day after Tomorrow had the best snowstorm.

Nobody really replied to it, and I was pissed.

I saw that today...funny.

One of my friends posted this about her 3 yo little girl. I couldn't help but laugh

so, i took autumn to go to the bathroom this morning. when she was sitting on the toilet she farted really long . . . . her eyebrows popped up and she got this surprised look on her face and she said "momma, did that make my hair move?" i said "did what?" and she said "my fart." i said "no, baby, that was the heat vent kicking on!" ROTFL

I just used this one. The Facebook paranoia is amusing to poke fun at.

a strawberry cow has wondered onto your farm

That's pretty good, IMO. It is disappointing when you think you've got a great update and it lands with a deafening thud.

My friend Posted this. We'll call him Friend #1

Friend #1: Chris Henry looks like a black Avatar
-Friend #2: ...too soon?
-Friend #3: They are not called Avatars Garrett! They're called Na'vi...JEEZ!
-Me: *looked*
-Friend #1: Looked?
-Me: No, you said he *looks* like a black Avatar, I corrected you. He *looked* like a black Avatar.
Friend #1: Oooooooh Matt too soon!! Too soon!!! What's wrong with you!!!!

That was a status update??? :clap:

I just don't understand all this fancy smancy interbook facenet hoohaw, next thing you know all these youngsters will be running around with tellaphones in their pocket.

I saw this one.

"Welp looks like ESPN has decided to broadcast Women's College Basketball on TV again, I guess ESPN is telling me to go study for my physics final"

ROFL

Nice. I just stole it. Have some rep in return!