FAX And The Crazy Data Center Man
 

I know it's unusual for me to start a wacky thread. But two wacky threads in one week? Unthinkable.

But, you know, it's been a strange week chock full of strange occurrences including the one I am about to relate. Plus, this sad tale concludes with a serious question, so there really is an actual point to this. Okay ... let's see ... okay ... here we go ...

I own a business that requires a simple, small web server which I have had hosted at a locally-owned data center for the last couple of years. The monthly fee is $350 for pipe, services, etc. which I pay via credit card. I have provided the owner with an authorization form and he merely charges the card each month like clockwork.

Well, Monday the server went down. I became aware of this immediately because we subscribe to a service that monitors our site. So, I call the hosting company and speak with the cute, blond receptionist person. She informs me that the credit card had expired so I give her the new expiration date and thank her in advance for her assistance in getting the site back up.

(I don't know about you guys, but I don't monitor the expiration dates on my cards. Actually, I only know about it when I receive a replacement card from the bank. Perhaps I should be more attentive. Anyhow ...)

Now, had it been me facing a situation like this, I (them) would merely have called the customer (me), informed the customer (me) about the card, and requested either an updated expiration date or new card number. Simple. Instead, they (them) shut us (us) down without so much as a howdy do or a kiss my ass. But that's not all ... oh, no ...

Approximately 30 minutes later, I receive a call from the owner of the data center. He is literally shouting, ranting, raving, and (no doubt) drooling over the phone. He says stuff like; "I have to pay my bills on time." and "It's up to you to take care of these payments." and "I'm not responsible for your credit card." and "You need to send over a new authorization form." and things of that nature. I calmly and quietly suggest that he's exhibiting a 5 pound response to a 2 ounce problem since all he needs is the new expiration date. He says, "No. I need a new authorization form and I'm not turning you back on until I have it." So, he emails a new form, I fill it out, and fax it back to him. Strange deal, but maybe he's having a bad day. I move on.

But, later that evening, the cute, blond receptionist person calls me from her apartment. She apologizes for her boss's behavior and says she's leaving the company because he's so abusive and unpredictable. I express concern for her well-being and offer to give her a reference or two. At that point she tells me that her boss has gone bankrupt three (count 'em, 3) times and is currently being sued by numerous creditors. She also explains that a previous down time was caused because the leasing company that "owns" their router had barged unannounced into their office to pick it up one day and he had hidden the router from them causing the interruption in service. Apparently, in his last bankruptcy petition, he had failed to list all his assets (I didn't know you could do that).

"Oh my God in Heaven", says I. I then thank her most sincerely for the information, compliment her on her clothes, and phone the owner the following morning. I tell him that I wish to pay him a pro-rated amount for services to date and pick up my server. He tells me that they "don't pro-rate" and that I have to give him 30 days notice on top of that. I then suggest that he can screw himself with his wife's lover's brand new ratchet set over the 30 days notice and that I would present myself at his office at 2:00 pm to pick up the server.

So, at 2:00, I arrive at his office with an associate who happens to be able to bench press 400 pounds. I ring the bell and he comes out to the hallway to inform us that we can't go inside because he's hosting "Homeland Security" and that I need to come back at 4:00 because they're real damn busy right now.

I call the cops and show back up at 4:00 with my burly associate and a uniformed Nashville Police Officer. The officer rings the bell and requests to see the owner via the intercom. Over the intercom, the owner asks, "Do you have a warrant?" The officer says, "No" and the owner replies, "Then you can't come in. Homeland Security won't allow it." I then take my turn speaking with the owner via his fabulous intercom thing and inform him that I have come with cash and need to leave with my server. He says, "Put the money through the mail slot and I'll get your server." I stuff $350 bucks cash through the mail slot and, a few minutes later, a young tech opens the door to present me with my server and a receipt.

As we're leaving, the officer says, "Where did you find that guy? I'm sure we'll be back here at some point but, by the way, if you're working with Homeland Security, you can't tell people you're working with Homeland Security."

So, my question to you guys is this ... is that true? I can't imagine this dumbass whack job working for Homeland Security in the first place as I'm sure he couldn't pass the vetting process. But is it true that, if you're working with Homeland Security, you aren't allowed to tell people that you are?

FAX

Disclaimers: Sorry if repost.

way too early for long readings....I'm sorry FAX, I've failed you.

ROFL

FAX

That reminds me of the short time that I had an AT&T cell phone. Something went awry with the EFT I had set up to pay my bill, and instead of CALLING ME ON THE DAMN PHONE I HAD THROUGH THEM, they just shut me down. So I went to their local authorized payment center and paid the bill in cash to get my phone turned back on, which still took a couple days. Then the SAME DAMN THING happened the next month. Needless to say, I was done with them at that point. And the best thing about it, is this happened in 2002 and they still have a collection agency harassing me over the fee for breaking the contract. It was at that time I vowed to never sign another contract with ANY cell phone company.

homeland security my ass ... unless of course homeland security was there investigating him for something.

you are a gentler man than i ... he wouldn't of gotten that extra money from me

Well, I was a little scared, to be honest. I didn't pay him the crazy "30 days notice" thing. I did, however, pay him for a full month although it was only the 13th or whatever.

I just wanted out of there.

FAX

I'm going to be in the minority here I'm sure, but you don't monitor when your CC expires, but you expect them to? Not too sure I see the reasoning there Mr Fax.
Granted I think they should have called you to let you know your service was about to be interrupted but I don't see where they're entirely at fault here.

Your 400-pound-bench-pressing associate is the lonely Australian lady, right?
Posted via Mobile Device

The reason I ask is that my guys are suggesting that we contact Homeland Security and inform them that this guy is stating that he's working for/with them. (His claim is that he's "hosting" for them.)

Honestly, I don't know if he's doing any harm by making the claim, but it's strange.

I wonder if it's simply an innovative way to avoid creditors. I mean, if Homeland Security won't allow people to gain access to his offices, it's going to be more difficult to confront the guy.

FAX

First point that he is FOS:
I use to work for Homeland Security. I was told that I could tell people I worked for Homeland Security.

Second point that he is FOS:
Not a chance in hell that he is hosting anything even remotely close to anything Homeland Security related. That "stuff" is entirely controlled and managed by Homeland Security itself. And without risking going to jail I can't divulge more but trust me, thats some serious physical and personal security associated with that access. They don't contract out that "stuff".

Third point he is FOS:
If you get anything less than good credit you will lose your clearance. 67% of people nominated for clearances get rejected and about 80-90% is for credit issues. A conceled bankruptcy? That not only would get your clearance yanked you could get thrown in jail for violating the agreement you signed.

You can say you work for/with DHS; you cannot provide specifics however if you have a clearance.

For some higher level clearances you cannot say anything about your work with DHS/other, period.

The dude is obviously full of shit. DHS does not host with fly-by-night data centers. They have their own; fully stocked with contractors (because fedemps typically have no cluse about anything other than maintaining a tiny pathetic fiefdom).

I can see the point, to be sure, Mr. truebigdog. I'm always pleased to take responsibility for things that are my fault and/or responsibility. I just didn't view it as all that big of a deal, to be honest.

I don't go through my wallet every month to check my expiration dates. Perhaps I should, but I've never developed that habit. I know a card has expired when the bank sends me a replacement. In this case, it had been two years and I just didn't think about it.

Still and all, he'd been making $350 on me just like clockwork. Every month. For two years. I was a good customer. No hassle. No problems. It seemed as though shutting me off simply because the card expired was over the top. All he had to do was call, get the new date, and re-run the card. He could have done that the same day.

Instead, the guy was ranting. Yelling. Seriously weird. Scary weird. Bad enough that his receptionist felt it warranted an apology. He really was out of line over the phone. Nuts like.

FAX

i would be shocked if homeland security used servers in some strange man's office.

they are all about secure facilities ... like pentagon and military base secure.

Besides the people that work for Homeland Security are going to be the last ones to actually SAY the work for Homeland Security.

hey, if you have no skeletons in your closet that homeland security would be interested in then go ahead and tell them. Sounds like this asshole deserves it. :)

This guy is obviously using the DHS thing as a way to avoid angry creditors and clients. He thinks he can somehow intimidate people or buy time with this DHS thing. It probably worked with a few people, so he's sticking with it.

I'll bet the owner is a Tea Partier guy.

Oops!!! Off to DC, sorry FAX!!!

Quick, let's create a diversion by discussing the cute, blond secretary. How do you know she was wearing clothes at all when she called you? Isn't it entirely possible that she had just stepped out of steamy hot shower and was wearing nothing but a terry cloth towel, barely concealing her perky young breasts?? Isn't it?

Frankly, I never know when my CC's expire unless I see it by accident. I usually find out when some company calls me to say "Sir, you CC has expired and we would like the new date so we can continue receiving money from you".

So back to the secretary.....