Marriage problems: First one to mention Anti-freeze wins
 

So....the wife is taking her 15 minute breather from a big fight in reference to finances. For the past 3 years, I've been the "bread winner." as in I pay the bills, buy dinner, entertainment...etc.

She has a lot of student loan dept that I was already aware of. However, some things I was not aware of initially was how much credit card debt she had due to her charging random shit to her credit card while she was a student.

Therefore I'm lucky to get $250 bucks a month from her in order to pay bills.

Between mortgage, insurance, utilities, entertainment, (cable,internet etc.) cell/phone bills. 58% of my earnings goes towards house bills. Not to mention food, gas and my own personal debt.

The wife gets a new job and is making more money. COOL!!!! Initially she states she'll be able to give me double of what she can. I'm still paying 45% of my monthly income. While she is only paying aprox 36 % of the bills. That's $500 bucks if you're still following.

I've been broke and barely able to make ends meet...and when the wife asks me to only give me $400 a month to help w/ bills and then we can start having kids in 2012. And I say no...that's bullshit, I'm at my wits end.

I'm still the asshole aren't I? :facepalm:

WTF?

This is very strange?

We put all the money in one account, pay the bills and what ever is left we either save or do fun stuff with...

It is...?

One of my best friends has a marriage like this, where he and his wife bicker and argue about who pays what percentage of what like they're college roommates. I don't get it.

My money is our money. My wife's money is our money. It goes in one big pot, and everything gets paid/saved/whatever out of it.

Ok...so there's more to the story that I just can't think of telling....FML.

Yep.

I don't understand separate accounts in a marriage. It's "we." Nothing else. No "her money," and no "my money."

Recipe for disaster, IMO.

Yep......

Adopt the Dave Ramsey plan. That way your aren't the asshole - Dave Ramsey is. You're just following a program to get out of debt and build for a retirement.

I know it doesn't work for everyone, but my wife and I have our finances completely combined. That gets rid of issues like that, but you have to commit to making all of your financial decisions together, and that means letting the other make purchases you think are completely stupid on occasion. Tough to do at times, but I wouldn't have it any other way.

opens the floor for the arguement of your not paying enough around here... Or I paid this and did this, which didnt leave me any money, while you didnt pay this or that...


Nah, not worth it... We both deposit our checks in every friday, Pay the bills and then enjoy what little is left over....

Yep good call...

Wait...what?

You better get a hell of a lot better handle on the concept of a joint venture if you're at all interested in this thing lasting for too much longer.

My wife and I pool all of our money together. Bills get paid from the joint account. We have expenses that are 'me' expenses (beer, poker nights, etc...) and we have expenses that are hers (church donations, 'female things', etc...). But we have an understanding that these are just things we get because we can. There's give and take involved but that's what we call a 'healthy marriage' around these parts...

It sounds to me like you're making this way too damn complicated. Then again, I think if you all get a joint account, you'll just end up arguing over who should get the most 'personal expenses' because of your respective contributions to said account.

Y'know what? Forget I said anything. It suffices to say that I think you all have some serious shit to sort out that goes well beyond $400/mo vs. $500/mo and that I hope you seriously re-think having children in the near future. At this point you're only ****ing up your own lives...

The thing that got me though...was things being said that implied that I wasn't being supportive of her getting rid of debt. That's what turned the whole thing south.

You should immediately demand a joint account and a blowjob. Show her who's in charge! :grr:

Put it all in one account. Pay the bills, give each a person the same amount as a bill each month..

that is your play money and her play money, the rest is bill money...