Originally Posted by SNR (Post 6984486)

Go to the link for all the teams. Here's the AFCW

http://www.theonion.com/articles/oni...18023/?slide=4


Strength: Excellent cornerbacks and safeties will provide sure tackling of running backs who are eluding the defensive front seven and rushing untouched into the secondary

Weakness: Keep trading for other teams' shitty quarterbacks

Originally Posted by SNR (Post 6984486)

Weakness: Keep trading for other teams' shitty quarterbacks

Player To Watch: Brady Quinn should have an interesting year, as he has been vigorously studying the Denver phone book


Oakland Raiders

Strength: Just nice to see them outside getting some fresh air


San Diego Chargers

Biggest Question: Is this the year Shaun Phillips and Shawne "roidman" Merriman get a consistent spelling on their first names?

Kansas City Chiefs


Weakness: Offense continues to struggle when trying to huddle up, with most of the players being overpowered and ending up on the ground

Player To Watch: In need of a solid season to become a potential holdout, wide receiver Dwayne Bowe is finally trying a little

Biggest Question: Will new offensive coordinator Charlie Weis actually explode after a big lunch?

Originally Posted by DJ's left nut (Post 6984501)

Is he sure he didn't confuse teams here?

Originally Posted by SNR (Post 6984486)

Player To Watch: Quarterback Jason Campbell is an experienced loser and is not going to mope around and act all depressed when team loses eight or nine straight games

Originally Posted by Amnorix (Post 6984558)

God, there are some real gems here. The poor Bills mgiht be the best one fo them all.

AFC East

Buffalo Bills

http://o.onionstatic.com/images/arti...0x1000_q85.jpg

• Strength: Buffalo is well-known for its friendly locals, its world-famous wings, and its proximity to beautiful Niagara Falls
• Weakness: Once again pretty much centers around the entire roster
• Player To Watch: Starting quarterback Trent Edwards. Wait, him again? God, these guys are so ****ed
• Intangibles: The AFC East is, perhaps, the league's most talented division, making it the most respectable division to finish last in

Originally Posted by SNR (Post 6984486)

Go to the link for all the teams. Here's the AFCW

http://www.theonion.com/articles/oni...18023/?slide=4

Denver Broncos

Strength: Excellent cornerbacks and safeties will provide sure tackling of running backs who are eluding the defensive front seven and rushing untouched into the secondary

Weakness: Keep trading for other teams' shitty quarterbacks

Player To Watch: Brady Quinn should have an interesting year, as he has been vigorously studying the Denver phone book

Intangibles: Whole team is going to see Phil Lesh and Bob Weir at Red Rocks after its week-three loss to the Colts


Oakland Raiders

Strength: Just nice to see them outside getting some fresh air

Weakness: As a team, every single player on this roster ****ing sucks

Player To Watch: Quarterback Jason Campbell is an experienced loser and is not going to mope around and act all depressed when team loses eight or nine straight games

Biggest Question: If Tom Cable isn't fired during or after the season, will Al Davis get rid of him by drowning him in the Gatorade container?

San Diego Chargers

Strength: Unmatched at dominating the competition all season long and then dramatically losing in their first playoff game

Weakness: Nate Kaeding purposely kicks field goals wide right or left, as he hates football

Intangibles: Injuries on both sides of the ball continue to hurt the Chargers as players get stabbed with the points or slam the wide part into their faces

Biggest Question: Is this the year Shaun Phillips and Shawne "roidman" Merriman get a consistent spelling on their first names?

Kansas City Chiefs

Strength: Quarterback Matt Cassel feels satisfied whether receivers catch or drop his passes; easy schedule as team plays seven games in the CFL this season

Weakness: Offense continues to struggle when trying to huddle up, with most of the players being overpowered and ending up on the ground

Player To Watch: In need of a solid season to become a potential holdout, wide receiver Dwayne Bowe is finally trying a little

Biggest Question: Will new offensive coordinator Charlie Weis actually explode after a big lunch?

Originally Posted by Baby Lee (Post 6984607)

Jacksonville touk urrr weeknusses!!!


Weakness: Quarterback controversy between Luke McCown and David Garrard has coaches wondering if they should even have a quarterback at all