Gladiator Round 1, Match 4: tooge vs. austinchief
 

tooge:

high-powered squirtgun filled with ammonia

No backup knife.

Prep time: 31 seconds


austinchief:

A batman-esque Penguin umbrella that shoots out sleep gas, If you can get within three feet.

Backup bowie knife

Prep time: 97 seconds


Venue:

Classic downtown big-city street

Starting distance: 1,931 feet

ROFL

A squirtgun full of pee vs sleeping gas and a big ass knife?

Damn, I thought talastan got screwed

We're not kissing up to the management are we?

WOW.. that is one heck of a starting distance!

I am gonna go with me here... what the hell is a squirt gun with ammonia gonna do to me??? Since I'm not a fish, I assume he can squirt me all he wants and it'll just annoy me until I get close enough to use my sleeping gas/knife combo.

1,931 feet?

As far as I'm concerned, even minutes' worth of prep time difference wouldn't matter in this fight.

I think this is a fight that takes for ****ing ever. AustinChief's bowie knife will be the deciding factor, and will be the killing weapon.

tooge will be running for his life with no backup weapon.

You are a bigger man than that. You won't even need the sleep gas.

This is a really interesting one, and funny that it's all chemical warfare.

So they're going to be stalking each other for a while. tooge is going to find the biggest open area he can and just wait. He's going to have nail austinchief in the face and then steal austin's equipment while he's incapacitated. But he's got the range to do it.

Austinchief is going to have to gut it up and know that he's going to get a face full of ammonia, and hope he can get to tooge blind in those last 25 feet or so. I'm wondering if austin should even hide his knife or if he should be swinging it madly while he waits for a chance to gas tooge.

I'm really torn here. I don't see austinchief being able to get within range, but it'll be risky for tooge to close in. Maybe if I'm tooge I try to blind austin and then I use other nearby materials to try to knock him out without getting close. What stuff can you throw that is on a normal downtown street and that's big enough to knock a guy out?

Well I don't think "forever".. if we assume Tooge isn't running away nor advancing.. I could cover 2000 ft in under 5 minutes easy. Even carrying a knife and umbrella. Although if we assume Tooge is running away, you are correct, this fight could last all day.

But Tooge, you'll have to sleep sometime...

Doesn't ammonia act like acid since it's on the opposite spectrum of the pH scale? If so, it could be a bad day for ol' Kyle. I could be way wrong, though, so please forgive me. I'm, withholding my vote for now.

Can AsutinChief use his umbrella as a shield from the ammonia stream?

I think y'all are underestimating the power of a big super soaker full of ammonia. You catch a face full of that and you're going to be hurtin'. And austin has to get within three feet.

Apricot Miatas?

:doh!:


That's brilliant. It's the perfect countermeasure. I hadn't thought of that.

Can you clarify "high powered"?