Renaming the Chiefs: Round 1, Heat 6
 

The rules are:

1. You can vote 'yes' on as many as you like, AND you can vote 'no' on as many as you like. Feel free to run wild.

2. The winner of the heat will be the name that has the highest net score (yes minus no). This will reflect the name that has the most satisfaction and least disapproval. In other words, it will be the least controversial name.

The entrants have been selected randomly from the nomination thread and I've thrown in some late additions.


As background, assume that it's 2024. President Ted Nugent has just distributed holsters to every American household. He is now seeking to build consensus across the parties, so he names Elizabeth Warren as the nation's "sports czar". Elizabeth's first order of business is to eliminate Native American-themed sports names, because there's nothing she hates more than white people making money by appropriating native american culture.

So the Chiefs have no choice but to change names. If they don't, the team will be banned and a new replacement team will be formed in Los Angeles, because if you keep putting teams there, eventually people will start watching them. (That tentative team name is the Los Angeles Trembling Fawns if you're curious.)

In a bit of good news, they're allowing the fans to select the new name, so we're on the clock. Do your best work, people.

My votes:

Positive - Stampede. I know that it doesn't end in an S, but it's a really cool name that conjures up images of the old west and cowboys and cattle. And it's a scary name to our opponents. I could go with this name.

Neutral - Commanders. Not sure how you could have this name without getting blowback about imperialism, but it's a cool name and I like how it rolls off the tongue.

Negative - Hitmen, Storm, Champs. Hitmen doesn't work because we're the good guys. Storm isn't horrible, but it's kind of generic. Lots of places have storms. Champs is an accurate name for the next 12 years, but we don't know how it'll hold up after that.

CHEFS is and will always be the only possible answer.

Kansas City Reptilians

We're kind of holding that for our airport in Denver.

The more I think about it, I'm a big fan of Kansas City Stampede. We can keep the colors, and the helmet could be some cattle in a big cloud of dust.

I've got something for ya with a cool name but I'm not sure if you'll like how it rolls off your tongue...

I'm terribly offended by the KC Chiefs name

The more I think about it, Stampede is ableist. Some cattle are disabled. Stampede=Ableism, which is discrimination and social prejudice against cattle with disabilities or who are perceived to have disabilities. Maybe I'm over thinking this.

It's impossible to overthink this. However, I would contend that your thinking is narrow and deserving of widespread shaming on social media. All cattle can stampede if they are given the right opportunities and support.

This!

My son, who is a Broncos fan, has called them the C-h-e-f-s forever. Initially it pissed me off, then I came to like it. Yes, the Chefs. Always serving up a tasty dish.

Edit: Why the F does this name come up as a glass of beer?
Edit #2: On closer inspection it’s a dude with a culinary hat.

Champs is great this year, but how about when we aren't.

I don't like Storm because then it would get affiliated with Troopers and we know Storm Troopers can't hit nothing when they shoot that is a better fitting name for the Raiders.

Renaming the Chiefs: Round 1, Heat 6
 

Great Googly Moogly.


https://youtu.be/Nmgice3ieZ4