Let’s talk about the Texans
 

We’re back! Our favorite football team, the world champion Kansas City Chiefs, have a football game in less than 10 days!

Our foe is familiar. They’re coming in with wrecked pride and mashed vaginas due to Mahomes eviceration, but they look different this time. And their safety said it would be different this time!

Like everyone else, the Texans have tried copying our model. They got rid of an elite receiver to bring in Brandin Cooks and his concussions, but provided he can still be the same guy, that gives the Texans 3 top receivers with 4.3 speed in Fuller, Cooks and Stills. Randall Cobb is a nice vet as 4th receiver and David Johnson now works for wanna Hoodie, so maybe he can recharge his once promising career?

Their weapons will probably be the toughest thing about them and it should be fun to see what Spags does to counter.

Their defense is still terrible. Sure JJ Watt will probably be a problem at times. Give him credit, it’s the beginning of the season and he will be a force until the 3rd quarter when he inevitably gets sent to the hospital again to end his season.

The best part about this defense is not that their secondary is basically the same terrible secondary that we scored on at will. It’s not that our old friend Phillip Gaines is still there. No they had to do us one better!

Guess who their starting safety is per ourlads? Eric ****ing Murray! LMAO

This game should be a fun offensive battle but I foresee us putting at least 45 on these guys. Clyde the Glyde is gonna take off and we’re going to win!

I'm in

Curious to see how teams look with no preseason. We should be stronger than everyone else since we have so many players coming back

This is a huge advantage for the Chiefs! How many starters did they lose 2 or 3?

Most other teams have much more change and I think teams with a QB/Coach change will take the longest to adjust.

Texans changed by getting rid of their big play maker WR.

Isn't that team the one who thought they beat us before mahomes went god mode on them?

In. **** these mother****ers.

We’re going to knuckle **** their taints without rubbers.

And the same team we knocked out of the playoffs when we had Alex.

These guys have little brother envy for sure.

Chiefs will run them off the field.

When does our roster get cut down?

Texans were dead last in red zone scoring defense last season. Also they were second to last in red zone TDs allowed. They will be facing a team that ranked first or second (don't remember exactly which) in RZ TDs scored. And HOU gave away their best offensive weapon.

Furthermore, so far as I know HOU has done nothing to improve their secondary, or their pass rush.

Methinks the Texans are going to wish they'd stayed in bed by half-time.

BOB is the epitome of what happens when you mix bad luck with world class stupidity. He’s like the Earnest Worrell of NFL coaches. He somehow blows a lead that would guarantee any other team in the league a playoff win, trades away his best offensive weapon for a bag of Cheetos, then has to relive the nightmare all over again on national TV as the first NFL game of the season that every.single.person will be watching. No way in hell can NBC rationalize making this the JJ Watt telethon anymore either. It’s Mahomes all the way now and I cannot wait.

Kelce just killed them in the playoffs, I think that is who Pat is going to target again.

Maybe.

But I have it in the back of my head that Andy expects them to try and take away Kelce with some new coverage, and his response might be to make Watkins or Robinson the focus of the offense.

The problem with that is I really believe that Andy uses the first quarter or so as a testing ground so he can find the weaknesses in the offense he's facing and then exploit them for the rest of the game. So the focus of the offense really could be almost anyone.

And then there's Pat himself, who wants to air it out, and regularly extends the play to find those 2nd, 3rd or even maybe 4th windows (what?). Between the two of them the actual gameplan could be nothing more than a very broad guideline once things get started.

Can’t wait.

Roster cuts deadline: Saturday, Sept. 5
Deadline time: 4 p.m. ET