Legal Crackdown on Sexual Expression Continues
 

So, turns out that you cannot catch a seagull, restrain it, and then rub one out while watching porn on your phone. I was unaware that this was against the law but as Fletch said, "There have been a lot of changes in the law." Remember this when you are making plans for this weekend. Also, I know that seagulls are quite rare in KC and the Midwest so many CPers might think this doesn't apply. The case does originate in the UK but I get the feeling that a court might not think it's a defense if you were planning on using a different bird.

No need to thank me for stopping anybody before they found out too late that this was against the law. I'm just trying to help.

Link is SFW but admittedly bizarre.

https://www.thenorthernecho.co.uk/ne...tured-seagull/

I hate the offseason.

As long as I can masterbate to loose a rouge uterus

What happens in Alaska stays on CP.

It’s not like it was a chicken or anything.
sec

He assaulted a seagull with his peehole.

[Article quote]
Gulls on the roof of South Tyneside Magistrates’ Court on Tuesday (April 25) could be heard calling out as the bench watched CCTV of the “bizarre” incident, which happened in a back street of Gladstone Street, Sunderland.
[/Quote]

This reporting is clearly biased against the defendant.

As part of Florida's stand your ground law, it's totally legal in Florida as long as you can prove that it shit on you or your car

Slut was practically asking for it though.

https://dgbijzg00pxv8.cloudfront.net...M_PREVIEW1.jpg

You can’t even masturbate on a plane anymore. Thanks, Bin Laden.

Speak for yourself. It’s been working well for me.

What if the seagull consents? Asking for a seagull friend . . .

Holy Shit! Timing perfect for the heads up. Thank You Mr Frozenchief!

Call me a bigot, but I prefer pelicans.

Fly pelican fly