Work social functions
 

So my job is already planning their holiday party and the boss has came out and said any activity that involves drinking will require all employees to Uber. Which got me thinking of the one time an old job took a party bus to a Chiefs game and one of my co workers got so ****ing hammered she ended up being REAL flirty with all of the male employees and ended up puking her brains out and passing out on the ride back from the game.

People forget while these things are intended to be fun you're still at work by extension. What's your funny story about a social work function?

My first day at Cabelas was an office retreat. I had met precisely my supervisor and that's it. We golfed (which I'm terrible at because I was a poor college student) and then had beers. I had NO CLUE whether that was cool or not. I think I went last and drank one.

I did not need to move 500 miles away to get fired on the first day.

That's a hell of a first day

The Christmas parties are open bars and tons of drugs. I'm CA sober so last time I pulled up in video game bus.

The lower paying the job, the more fun the work parties are.

Your career progresses and people get uptight.

I think we just put down the drugs cuz we're old.

It is amazing the amount of people who can't keep their shit together at work functions just because a few drinks are around.

This is a thread made for Hootie!

Bring him back just for this?!

I did my best to never go to these things.

I've only attended work parties while I was in college and I was a party guy.

I got so black out drunk at one of them, I had a leather jacket and I put it on a bar stool. This guy that I worked with had a leather biker jacket with embroidering on the back of it. I was so ****ed up that I grabbed his jacket thinking it was mine and started yelling at him "WHAT THE **** DID YOU EMBROIDER ON MY COAT MOTHER****ER?"

They never let that one die, they made fun of me for a while after that and I deserved that.

But ya, after college I no longer drank at any work functions and now it's been like 6 or 7 years since I've drank at all.

LMAO

Don't drink at company parties. It is a must.

I avoid work functions at all cost. I like my work to stay at work. When I'm off the clock, I don't want to spend time with people I work with every day.

It's not a particularly funny story, but before I started my company I worked at a small consulting firm. They had a Christmas party at the house of one of the senior people. I had a new intern assigned to me, and I hadn't had any time to get to know her. I ended up sitting next to her and her husband-to-be at dinner.

We were making small talk, and I found out that the guy was a college student. I asked what degree he was pursuing, and he said "philosophy". I nodded politely, and the guy suddenly went off on me. In a loud mocking voice, he said, "I saw that look you gave me! Ooooh, philosophy major! He'll never get a job! Useless degree! Well, yes! Yes! I'm a philosophy major and I don't care what you think!" On and on and on. I had done nothing but politely nod.

I had no opinion at all about the guy until that moment. But I acquired an instant dislike for him. He was just a jerk.

So now I had this intern, and my opinion of her was not very high because it would take a really stupid woman to be with this guy. Later, she commented on how clever he was because he liked to make racist comments to news articles "just to make people mad". She seemed to think that that was a sign of an advanced sense of humor. So my opinion went down another notch.

It turned out that this woman was completely incompetent at her job, too, and unethical to boot. She also had an incredibly annoying personality. I was responsible for her at the time but didn't have the authority to fire her, so I was stuck with her until I eventually quit.

Twenty years later, she's still floating around in my industry in different jobs and still an idiot. A few years back, a client came to me to take over a project that was in progress, and they told me that "they were tired of the consultant making screwups". That's an unusually frank thing to hear from a client, and when they sent me the files to clean up the mess, guess whose signature was on the work?

I don't hate the woman because she doesn't warrant that level of passion. She's just the human equivalent of walking through a spider web. When you encounter her you make a disgusted face and swat her away.

Big Bill pitch the idea to have your party at the b George Brett Statue and kick or lick some ASS. Your call.