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Memorandum
From: Scott Pioli
To: Staff
Re: Travel Arrangements
It has come to my attention that someone has made arrangements to fly nonstop to London via Delta Airlines from Hartsfield Airport. This is unacceptable and shows a lack of attention to detail.
I have made alternative arrangements to ensure secrecy on our trip to London. As you may (or obviously don't know), ISIS and al Qaeda are overtaking Western Europe and threaten our playbook, facility cleaning guide, and young employees. Can you imagine WTF America would do if ISIS didn't have the candy wrapper problem they have now?
So we're flying Malaysia Airlines. Guaranteed comfort and they'll never find us.
Get a clue.
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