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Alternate finale endings for the characters of Mad Men...
Joan & boyfriend: They end up cocaine addicts after that first taste (Coke ad irony), blow their fortunes on blow within 3 years, and end up homeless dregs with perforated nasal septums, roaming SoCal for their next fix. Joan turns to porn to get cocaine money.
Peggy: Stan never says the magic words and she ends up a powerful creative executive spinster with 15 cats. Stan ends up lonely, never admitting his love for Peggy, turns to booze & masturbation.
Roger & Marie: He suffers a coronary during sex with her and dies. She bounces to the next man, gold-digging her way through life.
(Alternate ending: They get married, she poisons him to death, she gets everything)
Pete & wife: The Learjet goes down in flames.
Betty: Dies, but the corpse is gorgeous, according to her wishes.
Henry: Donates his fortune to cancer research.
Hobart: Company is the target of a hostile takeover by Gordon Gecko, commits suicide by jumping out office window.\
Megan: Failed as an actress, she turns to porn, befriends Joan on a shoot, who's now doing porn for coke money for her & boyfriend.
Glen: Shot in Vietnam by his own fellow soldiers for being creepy.
Cutler: Gets caught with child porn, ends up in prison getting gang-raped.
Crane: Finally gets that class-action sexual harassment lawsuit he's been begging for.
Cosgrove: Finds he has a talent for playing pirates and goes on to be the model of the animatronic pirates for Disneyland.
Don: Accidentally saves Hugh Hefner's life, lands a freelance creative gig with Playboy, spends his life bedding Playmates, boozing, smoking...and really having a good time.
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