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I'm not a financial planner, just have been through this stuff personally with my MIL.

It's routine for families to drain off the assets in order for the parent to qualify for assistance. My wife has worked in residential elder care for over 15 years, at some the nicest, most expensive facilities. Most of her very well-to-do patients are "broke," but at the same time paying 8 to $9000 a month for care, with government help.

Problems is, you have to to transfer the money before they actually need the assistance, like 4 or 5 years ahead of time. You can't just hand it over to family and then apply for the help. It doesn't work that way.

Btw, your BIL is likely just greedy. Talk to an attorney. They can give you the details.