[In58men]

Originally Posted by RealSNR

ESTRAGON:
Charming spot in the draft. (He turns, advances to front, halts facing auditorium.) Inspiring prospects. (He turns to Vladimir.) Let's draft a QB.
VLADIMIR:
We can't.
ESTRAGON:
Why not?
VLADIMIR:
We're waiting for Mahomes.
ESTRAGON:
(despairingly). Ah! (Pause.) You're sure it was here?
VLADIMIR:
What?
ESTRAGON:
That we were to wait.
VLADIMIR:
Carl said it'd be a safe pick. (They look at the 1st round.) Do you see any others?
ESTRAGON:
What is it?
VLADIMIR:
I don't know. A 16th overall. (Silence) What do we do now?
ESTRAGON:
Wait.
VLADIMIR:
Yes, but while waiting.
ESTRAGON:
What about hanging ourselves by trading for a veteran backup?
VLADIMIR:
Hmm. It'd give us an 8-8 erection.
ESTRAGON:
(highly excited). An erection!
VLADIMIR:
With all that follows. Where it barely misses the playoffs, true fans grow. That's why they shriek when you tell them season tickets are still available. Did you not know that?
ESTRAGON:
Let's hang ourselves immediately!
VLADIMIR:
From the 49ers? (They go towards the backup.) I wouldn't trust it.
ESTRAGON:
We can always try.
VLADIMIR:
Go ahead.
ESTRAGON:
After you.
VLADIMIR:
No no, you first.
ESTRAGON:
Why me?
VLADIMIR:
You're a bigger pussy GM than I am.
ESTRAGON:
Just so!
VLADIMIR:
I don't understand.
ESTRAGON:
Use your negotiation, can't you?
Vladimir uses his negotiation.
VLADIMIR:
(finally). I will remain in the 1st round.
ESTRAGON:
This is how it is. (He reflects.) The 2nd round . . . the 3rd round . . . (Angrily.) Use your friends from your old team, can't you?
VLADIMIR:
You're my only hope.
ESTRAGON:
(with effort). Grbac cheap—offensive line not break—Grbac dead. Alex protected—Alex run from pocket—Tyreek open alone. Whereas—
VLADIMIR:
I hadn't thought of that.
ESTRAGON:
If it loses playoff games for the 49ers, it will lose playoff games for you.
VLADIMIR:
But if I give it a defense?
ESTRAGON:
So you tell me. I don't know. There's an even chance. Or nearly.
VLADIMIR:
Well? What do we do?
ESTRAGON:
Don't do anything. Draft a fatty. It's safer.
VLADIMIR:
Did not Vermeil draft many defensive line fatties?
ESTRAGON:
Perhaps.
VLADIMIR:
Let's wait and see what he says.
ESTRAGON:
Who?
VLADIMIR:
Mahomes.
ESTRAGON:
Good idea.
VLADIMIR:
Let's wait till we know exactly how we stand.
ESTRAGON:
On the other hand it might be better to strike the iron before it freezes.
VLADIMIR:
I'm curious to hear what Clark has to offer. Then we'll take it or leave it.
ESTRAGON:
What exactly did we ask him for?
VLADIMIR:
Were you not there?
ESTRAGON:
I can't have been listening.
VLADIMIR:
Oh . . . Nothing very definite.
ESTRAGON:
A kind of prayer.
VLADIMIR:
Precisely.
ESTRAGON:
A vague supplication.
VLADIMIR:
Exactly.
ESTRAGON:
And what did he reply?
VLADIMIR:
That he'd see.
ESTRAGON:
That he couldn't promise anything.
VLADIMIR:
That he'd have to think it over.
ESTRAGON:
In the midst of his MLS team.
VLADIMIR:
Consult his family.
ESTRAGON:
His friends.
VLADIMIR:
His scouts.
ESTRAGON:
His coaches.
VLADIMIR:
His charts.
ESTRAGON:
His bank account.
VLADIMIR:
Before taking a decision.
ESTRAGON:
It's the normal thing.
VLADIMIR:
Is it not?
ESTRAGON:
I think it is.
VLADIMIR:
I think so too.
Silence.

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