Originally Posted by rico
This is a thought provoking post.
I see what you mean and it’s not a bad point because I made it come off that way. It’s not like our relationship was/is solely based on her waking me up with her butt in my face. There is more to it. And she didn’t totally lose the glow from the first couple years, it’s just back then she idolized me because I was the local powerhouse wrestling team’s captain and she was a cheerleader for a rival school and she thought I was hot and funny. She’s always thought I was/am funny. It’s like when we met, a lot of these cheerleaders had crushes on me and the look I described I guess could be considered a flirty expression...I know the expression. I hadn’t seen that flirty expression in years. When you get to know someone and date them long enough, you start not really seeing the need to flirt. You get passed that stage. You get comfortable and used to it. And her flirty face came back. It was nostalgic and nice to see. I felt 18 again.
The way I look at it, we both have our qualities, both have areas we need to work on, both have areas where we are mutually awesome together and both have areas where we can be toxic together. I don’t think there is a good/bad guy or a good/bad gal in our situation. She’s very funny, selfless, caring, nice, etc. I won’t get into the things I think she needs to improve. I will save that for counseling. I make her laugh to this day, I’ve been working out, I provide, I take care of the bills, I care for her beyond words, I’m loyal and literally only have eyes for her...don’t even watch porn, I am generally nice. However, I upset her when I get distracted with things not related to the family. 3rd shift can also make me short and cranky...I hate it. I can be argumentative when it’s not necessary. I get jealous. There are things I can work on. Together we excel at raising our kids, having fun, being fun to be around, telling each other constantly that we love each other, conversation in general...we are best friends. However, the toxicity from us as a duo shows its face at times...we shouldn’t drink together. We spend too much time on our phones at times. We have a difficult time letting go of the past. We argue. We make assumptions. Things took a nasty turn when we both began taking each other for granted... that’s when I think things imploded.
I am optimistic that we can fix all of this. I reallllly wanna get off 3rd shift. We’ve been doing good lately. Been working out together, fishing, camping, etc. Need to keep the positive momentum going.
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