With Charles Manson unavailable, we quickly switch to our backup plan, flying him in from an orgy on a yacht off the Italian coast.
Hoping to give the Bengals some good karma from his charmed life, Bengals fan George Clooney graciously steps to the podium, wearing the full uniform of his acclaimed role in Leatherheads.
He flashes a charming smile at the audience, causing some female fans to swoon, then speaks smoothly and suavely.
The Cincinnati Bengals select Kris Boyd, CB, Texas.
He then winks at an attractive female Bengals fan, who removes her clothing and follows him off stage.