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Four really stand out.
1. Dokken, about a year ago. He was opening for Tom Keifer of Cinderella at the Arcada Theater in St. Charles, IL. The Arcada is a nearly 100-year-old theater that has been repurposed as a concert venue. Unfortunately, it has no air conditioning, and not knowing this, we got tickets for this packed show in July. It was hotter than the devil's asshole in there. Absolutely miserable. People started to sweat, and then people started to stink. And then Dokken took the stage, and the stink increased exponentially. Don's voice is gone. He sounded like a drunk old man singing bad karaoke. He couldn't sing anything right, and couldn't hit any high notes at all. At one point he started waiving frantically to his bass player, obviously trying to get the poor guy to take over on vocals. The bass player ignored him. It was awful. In the middle of the third song we went outside and waited out the remainder of their set. It was hot and humid outside, but far better than the alternative. Later, the bass player came out to have a smoke and was telling everybody what a dick Dokken is. That was far more entertaining than the show. Finally Keifer's show started. He was great, but between the swampy heat and the lingering effects of getting ear raped the evening was ruined. Worst. Show. Ever.
2. Great White, back in the early 2000s. It took the above experience to unseat these turds as the worst concert ever. Most 80s bands know what their fans want - to hear their 80s songs and go back in time for a couple of hours. Apparently Great White thought they were still relevant, because they played nothing but new shit, that was shit, none of which I'd ever heard before or want to hear again. And they played it badly. The lead singer's voice was shot. Finally, they did Once Bitten Twice Shy. Again, poorly. It was their final song. There was a brief smattering of applause, and then silence. No encore. This was perhaps a year before the Rhode Island nightclub fire, and I remember thinking that those poor ****ers that died were lucky that the fire started near the beginning of their show, because if they'd had to suffer through two hours of Great White and then burn to death, that would just be cruel.
3. Poison, 1992. They were the headliners at the Monsters of Rock show I saw that also featured Firehouse, Damn Yankees and Skynyrd. Those three were solid; Skynyrd in particular was flawless. Then came Poison. This was at a time when Poison's regular guitarist, C.C. DeVille, had been kicked out of the band, and the guy they got to replace him apparently felt like he should put his own signature on the guitar solos. It was horrible; he singlehandedly ruined the entire performance. After he absolutely butchered the solo in Every Rose Has Its Thorn, we got up and left. I've seen them a couple of times after that (the wife is a big fan), and after DeVille returned they were fine. But not that first night.
4. Bob Dylan. 1990. Dylan's singing voice sounds like a cross between a dying cat and a chainsaw. At least the ticket was free.
Dishonorable mention goes to Kansas, who I saw back in the late 80s. Walsh's voice was shot. The music was great. He was not.
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