[Rain Man]

I like both of these choices.

Connecticut - Classy house, and I wouldn't have to change a thing. The indoor swimming pool is awesome, and the views of the water are great. It's odd that they have both an indoor and outdoor pool, but hey, why not? Plus, I get this great house on the water and I'm only 30 miles away from picking up a Times Square hooker or seeing a Broadway show.

Texas - I don't know how big the Connecticut house is, but the Texas house is bigger. Because Texas. That's a big, big house, and it's really nice looking. I'd do a little redecorating, but not much, and it's also got an amazing indoor pool. I don't know which indoor pool is better. While I'm not a wild about living in Houston, it's got 5 peaceful acres inside a large metro area with all of its amenities, and I'm culturally a slightly better fit in Texas than in Connecticut. Plus, my annual stipend is twice the size in Texas.

There are no losers in this heat, but I'll go with Texas, ironically without any horses.