[Otter]

This thread needs a little lighting up...

My uncle Mario was a drunkard.
One night as he was about to head to the pub his wife confronted him.
She said if you go to the bar get drunk and throw up on yourself again, I will leave you.
He promises her he won't drink but he loves hanging with his friends.
She finally relents after he promises her again he won't drink.
My uncle makes it to the bar and the bar tender says, "The usual, Mario?"
No, I promised my wife I wouldn't drink.
The bartender clearly distraught says but Mario you're my best customer and life of the bar! Just one!
Mario says, he can't because if he gets drunk and throws up on himself again- his wife will leave him.
The bartender says, listen if you get drunk and throw up on yourself just put $20 in your shirt pocket and say the guy next to you threw up on you and gave you $20 to pay for the shirt to be cleaned.
Mario thought this was a great idea - so he relented and got a drink.
Sure enough 1 led to 2 and my Uncle got shit faced.
Staggers home at 3AM.
As he's walks into the house his wife confronts him.
Look at your shirt! I said if you throw up on yourself again, I will leave you.
Mario protests - The guy next to me was drunk and threw up on me. See he gave me $20 to get the shirt cleaned.
His wife goes but there's $40 dollars here?!?
Oh, yeah, he also shit in my pants.