Quote:
Originally Posted by Buehler445
Yeah, there is gradient and nuance in everything.
I really think there is something to the "treat important things respectfully" business. I think my wife would have taken a similar position to DaFace's if I'd bought something super extravagant at the time.
But if it's the same every day it doesn't click something in your head to treat it differently.
Wardrobe is a bad example in my line of work, but it does matter. If I'm going to meet a landlord, I damn sure try not to be dirty and for ****s sake clean my pickup or office or whereever we are meeting, because damn it those interactions are important. And if I entered the conversation with my landlord in a similar headspace as my employee that might not go well for Buehler445.
And also, marriage, like it or not, presents a step (at least legally) that has barriers to exit. So by definition it is important on some level. Regardless of your feelings on the institution itself.
But it's not hard and fast. My **** sister made a GIANT deal about everything regarding her wedding because it was OH SO IMPORTANT. 2 years later he was out of there with prejudice.
I certainly am not, and I doubt DJ is either, saying your marriage is ****ed if you didn't put some cash down on a ring, but there is value in taking the important shit in life seriously.
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Yeah, being in IT and mostly not client facing, the clothing thing doesn't really do it for me. There's something to be said about dressing up, but I was on call 24/7/365 for years and would deal with higher pressure things in my underwear than I did during the day at work.
"Be present" is a big thing for me. I've interviewed idiots who obviously put zero prep into it and just show up expecting a job, and of course anyone in a corporate setting knows the people who simply show up to meetings and say "bye" at the end so their voice was heard.
If I need someone's time, I really try to make the most of it by preparing, which sometimes leads to figuring out whatever I needed in the first place. And in terms of friendships and relationships, these days 90% of it seems to be simply putting away the phones.
That's really what I think about when it comes to giving things or people or events meaning... being 100% present, including prep work and forethought.