Quote:
Originally Posted by Jewish Rabbi
Maybe stop ****ing everything that breathes and your personal life would clear up.
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It's not quite as simple as that (never is), but I hear you.
I've taken several steps to clear that up. It's harder than just keeping my dick in my pants - that's actually the easy part.
Now, it's about setting boundaries and adhering to them. Looking at myself, becoming more self-aware. The real work.
Just because the woman I'm in love with rivals the Whore of Babylon with the sheet multitudes of dick she is able to satiate and is toxic as **** doesn't mean I have to allow her to **** my life up any more than she already has. I didn't sleep with my ex on Saturday.Night...I didn't sleep with a single one of the three hotties who came to my house after bar closed on Saturday, either. (2 stayed here, I slept in the guest room) So it's not like I was quarantined or was not having opportunities. It's just not where I'm at.
I understand inherently that I will not find the life that I seek by sport-****ing "everything that breathes", as you so colorfully put it, and I'm willing to abstain for a bit to sort myself out.
o, here I am, 6am, drinking coffee and not dragging myself out of the bed of the woman I'm in love with (or someone else's because she's in someone else's herself...)
I'm done with that destructive, toxic game. I have too much going on - I work full-time while a full-time senior at MU and I'm in 2 bands. I'm busy. Too busy to waste time with people who aren't together enough to want to grow up and build something - I have a lot going for me. Women find me attractive, I'm charismatic, I'm loyal, I'm honest to a fault, I'm not rich but I earn well enough, will be better after I graduate...I don't cheat, weed is the only drug I'm addicted to, I rarely even drink anymore, I don't smoke cigarettes, I have a great work ethic. These are solid attributes, and if those aren't good enough for her, then that's fine. That's her loss. I have a lot to offer, and I'm cool with being on my own at this point. In fact, it's probably really necessary.
I'm a bit lonely though, hanging out with friends is cool...frustrating and lonely. And then there was that game on Sunday, and it's like...is everything constantly ****ED!? I may still have a bit of youthful naivety or whatever...but these bitches kinda ****ed my head and my heart up. And then the Chiefs...the ****ing NFL...Andy Reid...RUN THE ****ING BALL, ANDY.
*end rant*