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Very, very sorry. She invested her love in so many lives. That love endures, and will continue to manifest in countless ways. The quote Duncan posted is truth.
I don't know if it would help you, but there's a three season show on Netflix called After Life. It's centered on the grieving process of a man, non religious like yourself, in the first years after his loss.
Your post inspired me, and I won't forget it. Thank you.
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