My wife is a retired teacher. Teachers are special people. They have endless patience and a passion for guiding young people to be productive, important adults. One of my wife's former students is Senator Josh Hawley, so there are exceptions I suppose
One of my very best friends Page here in KC is a chiro. He lost his wife after only four years of marriage to cancer. She was in her late 40s. It was really rough on him for the first year, but he's managed to reconcile the unfairness of that, make his peace with God and move on to the next chapter in his life.
I hope you can find peace and make the rest of your life something that your wife would endorse. Be an instrument of good. There's too much bad in the world already.