Quote:
Originally Posted by loochy
Every single day. I might seem successful on the outside to others, but my job, while paying extremely well, is a soulless existence as a cog in a massive corporation that profits from the suffering and destruction of fellow humans. I can't just drink the koolaid like everyone else and hide behind "patriotism", "freedom", "our troops". I was pointed out at a very early age as an intellectually gifted individual and I've come nowhere close to realizing my potential, and at my age it's too late to make a major change, as my family depends on me. I've failed myself. I've failed my family because I want them to be proud of what I do, but I'm not even proud of what I do.
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I think we all have dreams of being that 1 in a million great person. Most of us aren't going to get there for reasons outside our control, or because the risk of trying is not a good, rational decision. For someone who's bright, there's a pretty straightforward and low-risk path to success. That success may not be the 1 in a million type, but it's actually the smart decision to choose a high likelihood of being in the 90th percentile versus rolling the dice at great risk to be in the 99.9th percentile.
Back in 1999, I had a career crossroads. I was interested in being a professional writer and the world's greatest novelist. Simultaneously, I started a market research company to keep the bills paid. I actually was having early signs of success in writing, but the odds of getting rich at it were low, and the odds were pretty good that I would enjoy that work while living under an overpass. In the meantime, the research company took off and I enjoyed the work. So I put the writing aside - the theoretical ceiling was really high, but the odds of reaching it were low. The research company had a high floor and I eventually learned that it had a pretty good ceiling as well.
It's a bummer that I'm not a world-famous novelist, but it's been a good 25 years running the company, and it was the right decision. Now that I'm moving toward retirement I'm picking up the writing again and we'll see if I can knock Mark Twain and Leo Tolstoy off that pedestal.