I recall a couple of years ago, I went on a date with this gal I met at a bar a few nights before. Since the very moment I picked her up at her place- she would take and make phone calls, one right after the other. We maybe said but two words to each other the entire time I was driving to the restaurant.
Anyways, so we get to the restaurant, and I’m thinking to myself- “Good…now, maybe we can start talking to each other since she ought to put the damn phone away in a restaurant.”
Not.
She took a phone call as soon as we sat down. After that, excused herself to make another one, and blah, blah, blah.
By that time- I had had it. I ordered a drink for myself and contemplated my next move. I then turned to my date and told her I’d be going to the restroom. Of course, she just nodded as she continued to hammer the phone.
Well, I went straight up to our waitress and gave her $40 and told her that I was leaving for the evening.
“What ‘bout your girlfriend?”
“She’s my date and she’s been on that damn phone ever since I picked her up. So, I’m leaving. Here’s forty for the dinner I actually ordered, but I’m not going to eat. Give my date ten dollars for a cab ride home or you may pocket it yourself. I don’t care. The rest is your tip.”
She laughed and said she understood.
I got into my car, drove over to a friend’s house and drank the rest of the night. I never did hear back from my date. And I sure the hell never called her.
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Four blessings upon my fellow planeteers: Older whiskey, younger women, faster horses, and more money.
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