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Dr. I:
The "Dog" has decided that upon approaching his 50th birthday next year, that he would make this year his "farewell salute" to his slow-pitch softball playing days. Faced with the dismal performance last year, (after a Barry Bond's-style comeback attempt) I decided to lose a number of pounds over the winter to get back to correct playing weight.
After succeeding in losing 50 lbs, I have now embarked on a thus far successful (3 games) and triumphant return to the diamond. The hitting stroke is back and my pitching stats are Cy Young-like.
My questions are:
1) Seeing as to how this is my final season and I don't want to disappoint my loyal fans, should I sign autographs before or after the game?
2) Is it considered "grand-standing" for me to take a slower than normal trot around the bases when I hit one out of the park, so that my adoring fans can properly salute my career accomplishments?
My many fans have been very loyal, and I would hate to disappoint them by depriving them of properly showing their respect to me and my humble service to slow-pitch softball. I am in a bit of a quandry because there is a fine line here between humility and show-boating....I do have a reputation to keep you know.
I await your response.....
mmad "Al Bundy" dog
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