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Dr. Iowanian:
I have a couple of questions, so I will break them up to make sure I add to your already excessive consulting fees....
I was driving back from St. Louis today on I-70, stuck in a traffic jam because of the road work being done....while trying to enjoy my 3 MPH trek from the outskirts of STL to when the traffic jam finally broke in Wentzville, I came upon a rather obnoxious driver. Now, normally I would write this off to the driver being from St. Loser and just say "That figures" and drive on. But this culprit-idiot had license plates from Iowa.
First the culprit-idiot sped by me and several other cars using the shoulder as his passing lane....now normally I get pissed off enough with just seeing that, but the buttface slid right in front of me and then hit his brakes!!! Being the understanding type of person I am, I decided to use all my fingers when waving at him the first time, trying to show him a little of the Mizzou hospitality and cutting him a little slack. But once wasn't enough for the corn-fed goofball....next he proceeds to try and slide over to the next lane left, but after realizing that it wasn't going any faster he makes a sharp cut back into my lane and hits his brakes again.....this time I decided that I would show him his intelligent quotient by utilizing only one finger in waving at him. Next, in one of the more brilliant traffic movements that I have witnessed in my long life, he swerved back out to his "shoulder lane" and proceeded to rear-end an automobile that was broken down at the side of the road. Now, after ensuring all of his passengers were fine, I rolled my window down to exlpain to him that he was lucky no one was hurt He, in turn, returned the favor by giving me the 'you're number one" salute back.
So here's the question....knowing that you are all things Iowa, and can spot a pretender in a heartbeat, I wanted to see if this guy was a "true" Iowanian.....here's what i can tell you about him:
1) He was driving a Ford Taurus that had a Kerry-Edwards bumper sticker on the back...
2) There was also a sticker that read "Wander Indiana" (isn't that also on the Indiana license platers)
3) He got out of the car wearing a pair of pants that should only be worn on a secluded golf course....
Now, from what I have given you, is this gentleman truly from your home state?
mmaddog
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