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Spoil the shit out of her when she comes over. Older kids usually dislike new children, because they feel like they're losing attention. Sounds like she's also at that rebellious stage as others have said, that may or may not be due in part to the ex and her attitude toward you.
Yeah, you're not supposed to spoil kids with this kind of attitude, but you only have her for the holiday right? Take her shopping a lot, do whatever SHE wants to do, blow a ton of dough on her, go overboard. Guaranteed, she'll still be rebellious, but within a month of going home, most of that will shift to the ex. She'll start calling you when mom won't "give in" and let her go party or some such.
Hell, if she doesn't have a cell phone already, go to Cricket and buy her one. Their like $30 or $40 a month unlimited minutes and long distance. The ex will probably be pissed, but she will love the hell out of you.
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