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I'm not an elder, but it sounds to me like your life is a result of the choices you've made. You remind me of my older brother in the aspect that you think all these things are just happening to you. I don't do drugs, and I lead a pretty happy life. I agree with TJ in the aspect that you are a smoker because you choose to be. Once my brother learned to take responsibility (somewhat) for his actions, and realized that his choices can affect others as well as himself, his life got better for him. He still makes some wrong choices, IMO, but he deals with them. Change your outlook and make some different choices.
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