I've referenced it before, but one of the great lines on the old Partridge Family show occurred once when they were trapped and cold somewhere (bus breakdown or something).
Their manager, Reuben Kincaid, remembered how to make a fire from his army days. He had them all gather up some wood in a pile, and then he thought for a moment about the next step.
"Okay," he said, "Now...who's got a flame thrower?"
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