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Originally Posted by trndobrd
The question wasn't whether or not the Grandparents should be concerned or try to help their daughter and the grandkids. We both agree that they should.
The question was should the parents have come in the house uninvited at midnight for some kind of 'inspection'. The answer to that is 'no'. The parents have no more moral or legal right to trespass on Mary's property than anyone else. It sounds like the grandparents have control issues that they would show up like that, and the daughter has confidence problems that she wouldn't throw them out on the spot. JMHO.
Were the girls endangered because they were left under the supervision of two males between the ages of 23-30? Perhaps a 14 y/o girl in middle school would be better. Where do the grandparents derive the right to approve or disapprove all babysitters for their grandchildren.
As for the 'more beer than food' issue. That sounds a little sketchy. A previous post mentioned that the girls were both healthy, happy and well fed.
There was a male sleeping in the livingroom? What? No three-way with whipping cream while the little girls run arround the house sticking knives in electric sockets? Seriously, after 5 years of marriage, pehaps daughter is not very comfortable staying alone in a house with 2 young daughters. If they would ask their daughter in a calm, supportive manner they might know the answer.
I understand were you are coming from MD, I just don't think kicking the door in at midnight, kicking people out of someone else's house, and making ultimatiums is a very effective way of dealing with the situation.
Maybe if they offered to babysit one or two nights a week so she can go out and have some fun, with the understanding that she will be at home, sans dope and beer the other nights.
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I'm never for "kicking in the door"....and I agree that this should have been a conversation that BOTH SIDES should have had long before this night.
One thing we are not sure of...did the parents offer to keep the kids so their daughter could have a social life and help ease a little of the pressures I am sure she is feeling now? And if she is really uneasy about staying there by herself there are other alternatives to the course she is choosing now.
As for 23-30 y/o babysitters....yeah I would probably be a little more comfortable with a 14 y/o who probably has taken one of the Red Cross courses than an untrained twenty-something.
There are probably a few gaps of truth in the story on both sides here...and both parties need to communicate better. My only point of contention here....everyone (Mom and her parents)needs to be thinking about the girls and the effects of all of this. Right now, IMO, no one is really thinking about the girls.
mmaddog
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