[Hammock Parties]

Originally Posted by Rain Man

Situational Questions

1. You are at a party, and you meet a brand manager at Burger King. She mentions that she thinks the whole psychotic king ad theme is getting old, but she’s not sure. What do you say or do?

I tell her that I think the Burger King ads are hilarious and I enjoy watching them, but they should do something new. Have the King faceoff in a boxing match with Ronald McDonald.

2. You are in a meeting with the president of the firm, two other senior managers, three other analysts, two interns, and a client who’s picky about their report. Suddenly, a Nazi soldier throws one of those potato masher hand grenades into the room. What do you say or do?

I throw the president on top of the grenade. He's useless anyway. The company will receive a great boost in morale from his "heroic sacrifice."

3. You are on a cruise ship with your boss when it hits an old Nazi sea mine and sinks. There are only two life preservers left, and you, your boss, and your boss’s prized rare medieval anvil are alone on the deck. What do you say or do?

I don't really think much of anvils. I'm a nice guy, so he can have the other life preserver. I'm taking mine come hell or high water.

4. You and your boss are on your way to an interview. You arrive early and visit the restroom, and while inside you see a pair of feet under a stall and a competitor’s proposal sitting on the counter with another document titled, “Our Top-Secret Plan to Beat [your company]”. What do you say or do?

Grab the document, flush it, and walk discreetly out before the other stall occupant has a chance to realize what happened.

5. You are on a business trip with your boss. At dinner, your boss stands up and accidentally hits a tray being carried by a waiter. The tray tips and the waiter falls. As he goes down, he clutches frantically and accidentally grabs the strapless evening gown of a beautiful woman at the next table, pulling it off of her. Screaming, she jumps up and tries to cover herself with the tablecloth, pulling all of the food off the table. One of the candles ignites the Baked Alaska, and the carpet catches on fire. Everybody runs, and within minutes the entire restaurant goes up in flames. You and your boss are separated amidst the chaos, and you have to hitchhike home because he had the airline tickets. Once you arrive back at the office, what do you say or do?

I'd ask for a bonus.

6. Your boss mentions that he’s going to have to move his anvil collection this weekend, and asks for volunteers to help. What do you say or do?

I tell him I'll pitch in if he'll help me move my boulder collection next weekend.

7. If you were a planet, dwarf planet, moon, or asteroid, which one would you be, and why?

I'd be a moon. I'm lonely and worthless, but have an annoying habit of screwing up your tides.

8. Excluding all Americans and English, which major or minor leader or general during World War II do you most resemble in personality, and why?

That guy with the mustache. I can really inspire people around me. You should have seen me at the Raiders game.

9. If you could change one thing about your current grocery store, what would it be and why?

Complimentary blowjobs.

10. Tarzan lived during the 1930s, as played by Johnny Weismuller. He’s got to be dead by now. How do you think he died?

A nazi soldier threw a potato-masher grenade into his hut.

11. A priest, a hooker, and Paris Hilton walk into a bar. What happens next?

The priest breaks one of his vows.

12. I’m thinking of a number between 1 and 100. What number do you think it is?

12.679038