[banyon]

Originally Posted by Rain Man

I'm thinking about hiring someone, and my lawyer tells me that I need to open up my search beyond merely competent, trained people. So if you'd like to be considered for an exciting career in market research, please answer the following questions in this initial interview. If you answer the questions properly, I'll give you a job.

On your mark, get set, go.

Situational Questions

1. You are at a party, and you meet a brand manager at Burger King. She mentions that she thinks the whole psychotic king ad theme is getting old, but she’s not sure. What do you say or do?

I think the only right thing to do is nail her and then when she wakes up have that BK mask on to see what happens.

2. You are in a meeting with the president of the firm, two other senior managers, three other analysts, two interns, and a client who’s picky about their report. Suddenly, a Nazi soldier throws one of those potato masher hand grenades into the room. What do you say or do?

Throw one of the interns on it immediately. Thier only worth is as processed meat anyway.

3. You are on a cruise ship with your boss when it hits an old Nazi sea mine and sinks. There are only two life preservers left, and you, your boss, and your boss’s prized rare medieval anvil are alone on the deck. What do you say or do?

Tough one. I say tie the two preservers together, wait until boss sinks and then use both preservers for extra flotation buoyancy on the cushy ride home. Guarantees promotion since there will need to be a new boss and I'll get bumped up.

4. You and your boss are on your way to an interview. You arrive early and visit the restroom, and while inside you see a pair of feet under a stall and a competitor’s proposal sitting on the counter with another document titled, “Our Top-Secret Plan to Beat [your company]”. What do you say or do?

Run over to stall. Tie Competitor's shoelaces together. Wait until he tries to get out and falls on the floor at which point you show him you have their plans and say "Nahnee nahnee boo-boo" moon him, and be on your way.

5. You are on a business trip with your boss. At dinner, your boss stands up and accidentally hits a tray being carried by a waiter. The tray tips and the waiter falls. As he goes down, he clutches frantically and accidentally grabs the strapless evening gown of a beautiful woman at the next table, pulling it off of her. Screaming, she jumps up and tries to cover herself with the tablecloth, pulling all of the food off the table. One of the candles ignites the Baked Alaska, and the carpet catches on fire. Everybody runs, and within minutes the entire restaurant goes up in flames. You and your boss are separated amidst the chaos, and you have to hitchhike home because he had the airline tickets. Once you arrive back at the office, what do you say or do?

Wait, what's the chick without the gown doing at the end? That has to be priority 1. Hopefully I got her digits. other than that, covering the Bosses' a** is okay so long as it doesn't conflict with priority #1.

6. Your boss mentions that he’s going to have to move his anvil collection this weekend, and asks for volunteers to help. What do you say or do?

Volunteer to organize volunteer group.

Personality Questions

7. If you were a planet, dwarf planet, moon, or asteroid, which one would you be, and why?


Asteroid, they get to see all of the cool stuff in the galaxy before their eventual collision with another object.

8. Excluding all Americans and English, which major or minor leader or general during World War II do you most resemble in personality, and why?


Rommel- The Desert Fox. Wily, and chafing from sand irritation.

9. If you could change one thing about your current grocery store, what would it be and why?

I would make the Merc less expensive because, well it is too expensive.

10. Tarzan lived during the 1930s, as played by Johnny Weismuller. He’s got to be dead by now. How do you think he died?

At age seventy, having a flashback and grabbing a dangling power line trying to swing across a busy intersection while doing the Tarzan yell.

11. A priest, a hooker, and Paris Hilton walk into a bar. What happens next?

There are only 2 people in the bar? Not very crowded. I guess she could confess to the priest.

12. I’m thinking of a number between 1 and 100. What number do you think it is?

27. Must always stay focused on LJ.