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Originally Posted by Rain Man
I'm thinking about hiring someone, and my lawyer tells me that I need to open up my search beyond merely competent, trained people. So if you'd like to be considered for an exciting career in market research, please answer the following questions in this initial interview. If you answer the questions properly, I'll give you a job.
On your mark, get set, go.
Situational Questions
1. You are at a party, and you meet a brand manager at Burger King. She mentions that she thinks the whole psychotic king ad theme is getting old, but she’s not sure. What do you say or do?
It could always be worse. Your mascot could be a gay clown in a yellow suit.
2. You are in a meeting with the president of the firm, two other senior managers, three other analysts, two interns, and a client who’s picky about their report. Suddenly, a Nazi soldier throws one of those potato masher hand grenades into the room. What do you say or do?
I say "Oh shit!, a Nazi soldier just threw on of those potato masher grenades into the room." Then run.
3. You are on a cruise ship with your boss when it hits an old Nazi sea mine and sinks. There are only two life preservers left, and you, your boss, and your boss’s prized rare medieval anvil are alone on the deck. What do you say or do?]
Damn Nazi's. I pull out my GPS navigation system and save our location point so the anvil can be retrieved later.
4. You and your boss are on your way to an interview. You arrive early and visit the restroom, and while inside you see a pair of feet under a stall and a competitor’s proposal sitting on the counter with another document titled, “Our Top-Secret Plan to Beat [your company]”. What do you say or do?
Read it quickly, then wipe my ass with the pages.
5. You are on a business trip with your boss. At dinner, your boss stands up and accidentally hits a tray being carried by a waiter. The tray tips and the waiter falls. As he goes down, he clutches frantically and accidentally grabs the strapless evening gown of a beautiful woman at the next table, pulling it off of her. Screaming, she jumps up and tries to cover herself with the tablecloth, pulling all of the food off the table. One of the candles ignites the Baked Alaska, and the carpet catches on fire. Everybody runs, and within minutes the entire restaurant goes up in flames. You and your boss are separated amidst the chaos, and you have to hitchhike home because he had the airline tickets. Once you arrive back at the office, what do you say or do?
"How cool was that fire? BTW, I just wanted to thank you for helping me get a jumpstart on my exercise program. Lord knows I kneed it. You are always looking out for me."
6. Your boss mentions that he’s going to have to move his anvil collection this weekend, and asks for volunteers to help. What do you say or do?
I'm busy. I have to go and get that other anvil. Sorry.
Personality Questions
7. If you were a planet, dwarf planet, moon, or asteroid, which one would you be, and why?
I'm all of them. You just said so
8. Excluding all Americans and English, which major or minor leader or general during World War II do you most resemble in personality, and why?
Rommel because of my studliness and my desire to take over Africa
9. If you could change one thing about your current grocery store, what would it be and why?
I'd have to drug dealers like Jay and Silent Bob hang out up front for my entertainment
10. Tarzan lived during the 1930s, as played by Johnny Weismuller. He’s got to be dead by now. How do you think he died?
A snowmobile accident in Cancun
11. A priest, a hooker, and Paris Hilton walk into a bar. What happens next?
Is this a trick question?
12. I’m thinking of a number between 1 and 100. What number do you think it is?
27
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