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Originally Posted by DaFace
100% Grade A atheist here.
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Got hemorrhoids? If not.... you will. For God shall smiteth thee with hemorrhoids in your secret parts. Unless thou maketh golden images of your hemorrhoids, thou shall be cursethed:
The LORD will smite thee with the botch of Egypt, and
with the hemorrhoids, and with the scab, and with the itch, whereof thou canst not be healed. -- Deuteronomy 28:27
the hand of the LORD was against the city with a very great destruction: and
he smote the men of the city, both small and great, and they had hemorrhoids in their secret parts. -- 1 Samuel 5:6-7
What shall be the trespass offering which we shall return to him? They answered, Five golden hemorrhoids, and five golden mice ...
Wherefore ye shall make images of your hemorrhoids, and images of your mice that mar the land; and ye shall give glory unto the God of Israel: peradventure he will lighten his hand from off you, and from off your gods. -- 1 Samuel 6:4-5