[Nightfyre]

Originally Posted by Ugly Duck

Got hemorrhoids? If not.... you will. For God shall smiteth thee with hemorrhoids in your secret parts. Unless thou maketh golden images of your hemorrhoids, thou shall be cursethed:

The LORD will smite thee with the botch of Egypt, and with the hemorrhoids, and with the scab, and with the itch, whereof thou canst not be healed. -- Deuteronomy 28:27

the hand of the LORD was against the city with a very great destruction: and he smote the men of the city, both small and great, and they had hemorrhoids in their secret parts. -- 1 Samuel 5:6-7

What shall be the trespass offering which we shall return to him? They answered, Five golden hemorrhoids, and five golden mice ... Wherefore ye shall make images of your hemorrhoids, and images of your mice that mar the land; and ye shall give glory unto the God of Israel: peradventure he will lighten his hand from off you, and from off your gods. -- 1 Samuel 6:4-5

Oh come on. Deuteronomy wasn't even cannonized, IIRC. While we're at Deut
6:10-12

When the Lord your God has brought you into the land that he swore to your ancestors, to Abraham, to Isaac, and to Jacob, to give you--a land with fine, large cities that you did not build, houses filled with all sorts of goods that you did not fill, hewn cisterns that you did not hew, vineyards and olive groves that you did not plant--and when you have eaten your fill, take care that you do not forget the Lord, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of slavery.

It is also worth noting that Deuteronomy was written a time after the events took place (I don't recall how long after.)