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The Warm Carl Weathers. Punch yourself in the stomach so that your stool becomes tarry with blood, and hence, darker than normal. Poop on your partner with a piece of saran wrap covering the landing zone so as to not messy them.
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"When the Know-Nothings get control, it will read 'all men are created equal, except negroes, and foreigners, and Catholics.' When it comes to this I should prefer emigrating to some country where they make no pretense of loving liberty – to Russia, for instance, where despotism can be taken pure, and without the base alloy of hypocrisy.”--Abraham Lincoln
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