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Concerning your first two questions:
You need to know what kind of motherboard is running the system first and foremost. If you're setting up a new system you want a mother where RAID is integrated so you don't need a controller at all.
Sounds like you're looking to setup RAID 1 to mirror the data. You'll gain no speed in this setup.
You can use two different size drives but RAID is only as good as the smallest drives. In an ideal setup you would want two identical drives.
Do yourself a favor and read up on the basics. It's not complicated at all.
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