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Originally Posted by jidar
this is obvious but doesn't go far enough.
We over coddle in the name of fairness. For instance I have 2 children, a 13 year old daughter and a 10 year old boy. If I let my daughter do something because shes old enough but my not son then my wife will get pissed and say it's not fair.
No it's perfectly ****ing fair because she's older. Yes it sucks for my son at that moment, and yes he's disappointed, but that's life and he needs to learn to deal with all of that.
Kids need to fail, they need to be told when they suck, they need to experience disappointment and perceived unfairness. They need to be exposed to things that prepare them for a potentialy harsh world because that might be what they end up in.
And besides, if they aren't their life will be ****ing boring and they will go through it depressed and unhappy without really knowing why.
But at the same time they need to be protected a bit and brought along slowly, so how slow is slow enough?
I propose the following litmus test: If you keep your kids from playing some video games to protect them, then you're over doing it.
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Absolutely correct.
We have issues with our daughter because she isn't allowed to do the same things that the older brother does. She just doesn't understand that there is a difference. There is a big difference in 2 years at the age they are right now.
Kids need to fail to understand how or what they did wrong. Building up a kids self-esteem for the saving of hurt feelings is totally bogus. They are going to have to learn to respond to adverse situations. Not everything is going to go their way in life.