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I couldn't agree with Mr. Lundberg more. After 4 children, my advice is:
Early pregnancy (months 1-3)
1. Compliment her appearance - cloths, looks, hair, etc.
2. Tell her how excited you are that she is pregnant with your child.
3. Talk to her about all the fun things you are looking forward to with said child.
4. Take a few things off her plate - errands, cooking, etc.
Mid Pregnancy (months 4-6)
1. Enjoy the horny express.
2. Compliment her ever changing body.
3. Stay out of the way.
Late pregnancy (months 7-9)
1. Do not make eye contact.
2. Do not speak to her unless spoken to first.
3. Do not - UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCE - roll her on to her back and watch her try to get up.....all the while laughing at her and saying she looks like a turtle. Bad things happen.
4. Do not dangle food in front of her and then run away. If she can catch you, you are liable to lose an arm.
5. Do not make references to the Marshmallow Man.
The best option for you is to simply avoid her at all costs during the last 3 months.
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